hmmm

Feeling a bit tired (considering it's midnight, that's not a surprise). I guess I feel tired and nervous. My sis-in-law is due and I keep having dreams about the baby and all that. Hopefully, everything will be all right.

I also feel a bit deflated about art and my work in particular. I guess I just feel sort of flat at the moment. I know this is a temporary feeling...and one that is induced by my feeling tired. What I need to do is sleep and break out the paints.

I played a bunch of kids video games with the gals...mostly PBS stuff and now my eyes are burning/blurry. I really don't care for that stuff and it bothers me to think what it's doing to kids eyes...fortunately, this was the longest we ever did video games (1-2 hours with a few breaks). Still, annoying.

I need to start a new project and finish a few. I think this will make me feel better and get me inspired. I was looking at the Graphic art illustrator book and was feeling WAY overwhelmed...and defeatist. So many choices and places and competitions....drives me mad. But I decided to choose 5 places to submit from two categories and give them 6 months. I'm going to do a collage/study as to what I need to get done and how. It's more like a visually brainstorm, I guess. Just to help me focus and know what to do. Actually, I think I might do this in other areas of my life as well. See if this brain storming helps...

Two weeks ago, I found an essay I did when I was 14 years old. I could not believe how prophetic it was. I had everything from writing books, getting a Masters in Art, marriage and kids in there! It really made me smile and feel like I'm not so much off my personal path as I thought. It made me feel really good, actually. I think parents with kids of this age or school teachers or friends/aunts/ etc should have kids write this sort of personal letter/essay and keep it. I don't know if this means I was/am a realist but it certainly is eerie how I followed this plan. :) I'm glad I found this.

On a different note, I've been dancing to Paul Eugene's workout on Youtube (Be careful, it has a loud audio). It's quite good...I love the positive energy and just the spirit of this guy. Everyone should have a Paul Eugene inside of them.