Thursday, June 30, 2011

Excited and feeling blessed

I just did a give away with EHAG and am so excited to send the winner, Boobunny, my Little Witch painting! I'll definitely donate more art for this contest. This is all new to me for the Halloween art world, so I'm glad things are flowing and I'll be sharing some of my art. :)

I was going through my art studio last night...something I do when I feel when life feels chaotic...realized I have a lot of projects to finish. lol Oddly, a lot of them are Halloween related. I think it had to do with having kids and everything felt so all over the place. Now, things are calming down, I feel like I can take on more and complete a lot of stuff I left hanging. Also, having that hysterectomy last yr helped me feel a lot better too. Sometimes, I feel like everything was a blur and I'm getting things back to normal on some level.

Having people help is a HUGE bonus too. We got that help 2 wks ago with house repairs and some much needed attention. I was so shocked...actually, I still am. It was like a mini-version of Extreme Makeover, honestly. I'm definitely going to be a part of this when they need volunteers. Definitely pay it forward. With all the bad stuff happening with my dad and the rest of the family, let's just say this was a total surprise blessing. People do care and want to help. It's much better to focus on good things like this, instead of being pessimistic.

well, I've got to get off of here and do some stuff. Cleaning, sewing, more cleaning and some art. Maybe not in that order. lol

Getting back into things

My kids are getting old enough to know the power of doing chores and being pleasant. They realized this and started to fold a big pile of laundry. Love them! They are making it possible for me to have a mid-day blog session. lol

We went to Wal Mart and got some supplies, food stuff and cat litter. We are going to try the clumping kind as the stuff that is made of cedar is just too messy and too smelly in the summer. P U. I hope this helps the problem.

Mr. H is taking a late nap (more free time for me, yes!), the dogs are chewing on their new rawhide's (boy, they totally loved that) and the kids just informed me today is a good and bad day. Mainly good as there are snowballs (the kind w/ marshmallows and cream filling) to eat.

I think I'll go and do some art and photograph some stuff with this new time. Sigh...I really need to have more treats for the kids. Rewards and positive words do the trick. :)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I've got to walk these dogs

they are going crazy. I feel a bit antsy my self. Dad is back in the ER due to his tubes leaking from his kidneys. The doctor said he might always have to have the tubes. I'm sad and angry. I'm hopeful for the best but I don't know. My mom knows that my dad is in the advanced stages of prostate cancer. This isn't good. My dad is in total denial and won't even admit he has cancer. I hope the July 7th doctor meeting goes well. They seem to be into the natural medicines that my dad likes. Whatever brings him peace of mind, is what I say. And he is comfortable.

I talked to my mom and she is very concerned and tired. She's doing everything she can and I'm glad my siblings are there to help.

I'm trying to keep things in perspective and be grateful for all that I do have with my family. I guess it sort of hit me, just now, how very dark this all is. Thank goodness everyone who is being called upon to help, is helping. I know this is what makes things easier for my parents. It makes a lot of this somewhat bearable.

I'm very glad he is getting good care. I keep thinking about how things might have been if he wasn't getting good care. So scary. I'm sending a thank you the universe for all the good there is out there.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

  by Emilyannamarie
, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

  by Emilyannamarie
, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

the flowers the kids planted. Interesting how details come out in large print...just love the striking blue, pinks and greens

Sammie

Sammie by Emilyannamarie
Sammie, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

I finished this sweet Sammie Crow for the EHAG Challenge for June piece. It's available at $150, $10 shipping.

Folk design with a touch of primitive, it is unique and adds to the Crow collector or Halloween lover.

Monday, June 27, 2011

sat on the treehouse, finally

Well, I scooted up the treehouse ladder and sat on the edge. I was too nervous about going any higher or walking out on the landing. Jon has made a treehouse in our mulberry thicket. It's about 6 feet off the ground and likes to creak. It makes me nervous although for about 5 minutes I actually relaxed and enjoyed myself. That is until we moved the boards and about 1000 earwigs wiggled around. Yuck!!!

I will have to take pics. The stair/ladder is very narrow and I'm not. So, I'm a bit nervous about going up this thing. At least I got to the top. My goal is to go out and sit there and watch the fireflies. I might have to bring bug candle things to keep the biting bugs at bay.

I listed a few things on eBay and facebook. I'll try etsy another night. I'm too tired to do much more. At least I did do some art...I'm annoyed that I forgot this weekend is July 4th. How in the world did it get to be July already. Not fair!

The kids did some linoleum carving. I pulled out my set of print making supplies and had them try it out now that they are older and I don't have to worry too much. They did very well for their first time printing. I will have to take some pics of this too. I should have got some action shots.

I had Harrison do finger painting on Sunday but he was startled by the neighbor's mowing and trimming sounds. He didn't want to do anything. I felt so bad. Later, we went to our friend's apartment and went swimming in her pool. It was fun and the kids had a blast. Will have to do that again, I think.

Today, I did about 40 min exercising. I feel good about this and felt physically good too. I don't see any improvements...still. Sigh. I've been trying to do concentrated exercise every day and still see little improvement. Well, it's easier to get up and not so difficult to breath when I get to the top of the stairs. Still, I want to see dramatic improvement in 4 wks. Okay, I'll be happy with 10 pounds off the scale. Whatever.

The good thing is my legs feel achy and arms feel sore. That's a good sign, right? I hope so.

I'm so tired I just want to finish this blog post and hit the sack. I will share pics tomorrow but you can find all of it on my facebook. I have a great piece I did for the Ehag June challenge. I need to share the banner on here and do some sharing...tomorrow. I'm bet. Night folks!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Paint night and movie

once the kiddos settle down, I'm going to plunk myself at the dining room table and paint while watching a good movie. Any recommendations? I'll save them for later too.

I drank some coffee after our walk this evening...so nice in-between rain storms (although my joints in my hands are achy and I got a shoe full of gravel). We sat on the back porch, Jon played t-ball w/ H and the gals ran around catching fireflies. love this sort of evening.

I feel a tired...did a bunch of house work for some reason. I guess I realized how dirty the floor had gotten and needed to do some scrubbing.


I have to call my parents for an update. I hope they are stable. Have a good weekend.

family visit in the hospital

This is dad in the CC unit...he made everyone come in and take a pic. Thankfully, he is at home, getting adjusted to his situation and getting treated for cancer. Thank all the Good that is helping my dad get better on so many levels. :)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Warm humid day

It wasn't too bad, however. I seem to be getting used to the warmth. It did hit me about about 2pm and I took a nap while the kids rested/played video games. I felt like I had no creative energy what so ever. I tried to paint/do some sewing and I just felt utterly exhausted. I really feel like it finally caught up to me, all the stuff from last week w/ my dad. I just wanted to sleep for a few extra hours. Honestly, I'm up right now but in a few, I will be nodding off.

A lot of good things are happening...my parents are talking to my sister. They are healing. My dad is getting good medical attention and is following through with the medication and therapies. And there are other good things happening as well...my sis found some programs that my mom could get paid for taking care of my dad as well as get health coverage too. Thank God! I'm just so glad my dad's getting treatment for cancer...and I hope it guides him to make the right choices w/my mom.

I entered a local art show, yesterday. I was so fortunate to have someone give me a little extra time to submit. I was so overwhelmed w/ all that happened, I nearly didn't make it. I'm so pleased about this. It lifted my spirits.

I also feel like I can do some other things I've been postponing. All in all, everything is so intricately woven together...it makes me realize there is a higher Good watching out for all of us. I'm so blessed by all the wonderful people in my life. I need to remember this, instead of focusing on my petty fears.

I hope tomorrow we all awake refreshed and do lots of good works. Have a good evening!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Amish Delights

100_8471 by Emilyannamarie
100_8471, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Delgrosso

Delgrosso by Emilyannamarie
Delgrosso, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Delgrosso

Delgrosso by Emilyannamarie
Delgrosso, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

First date

Quote of the day

Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?

- Sai Baba

Monday, June 20, 2011

Sickness

So, my dad is in the hospital and is getting cared for. He has a huge list of things he is trying to get controlled...all coming from the same sort, prostate cancer. It's a huge tumor that pressing on all his vital organs. I found out things like this can effect your thinking/brain as well.

I'm feeling very frustrated. I'm over here in PA and they are all on the West Coast. I asked my mom if she wants me to fly in and help. She said it's all right and Daniel and David are doing a good job. I'm still going to see about getting things together in case they need me for anything. I feel better about having a plan.

My sis/family approached my dad the other day. It didn't go well. My dad slumped into his old behavior...like I didn't see that coming. Unfortunately, all the family who is "well" acted inappropriately and started talking loudly to him and demanding him to change. I found out he had to go back on oxygen mask after everyone left.

I'm sorry, but that is not right. It makes things worse to confront someone when they are so ill and makes it not about the sick person but about their emotional hang-ups. I hate to sound so insensitive but, it's wrong to expect an elderly/sick/mentally ill person to change to fit your expectations. Ignoring their situation is seeing people like cartoon characters instead of human beings with all their flaws as well as all their good qualities.

The sad thing is there are other people who are making my dad's illness about them too. I just can't believe these are people are so blind. That is all I can say about them.

Honestly, this brings me back to what I have always thought. Finding a good therapist and going for a few years (or longer, if need be) is a very good thing. I noticed the people who do go to therapy or who are trying to understand themselves, are usually much nicer to be around. And they usually project good feelings when you are around them.

I'll give one book recommendation. Dale Carnegie's "How to make Friends and Influence People". Read it as soon as possible. Let it be the first step in feeling better about your self and making other's feel better in the process.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

hmmm

These are the times I really wish I had an unlimited amount of money and could fly back to CA and visit/help everyone. Sigh...At least I'm there to talk and listen...that is something, I hope.

My dad has reverted to his strange "blame" script. He blames my sister for X,Y, and Z. The good news is they are going to have a psychiatrist come in every day to analyze him and see what they can diagnose. Thank goodness!

Friday, June 17, 2011

heart beats

Is this how it is supposed to feel...like your heart is beating outside of your body? It's as if there is this strange vine that I don't want to cut back but want to grow and survive. Another part of me knows there will be a time to let it go, but now, right now, I want it to get stronger.

Last night, my sister finally saw my dad for the first time in 16 years. She brought my niece and nephew. They all said sorry and asked for forgiveness. They hugged. I am glad.

Why does it always seem to take something like a doctor's visit to switch people around? My dad has been in a lot of physical pain. He complained about his back and bones for over 6 months (from the prostate cancer spreading, unfortunately). Who knows how long it was effecting him? The doctor said the more he is on treatment, the more his mental capacity could return. Maybe it wasn't dementia/bipolar...maybe it was the cancer hurting him so much...he was going crazy. This just makes me so very sad to think. That's the one thing I'm very grateful for right now...that he is on pain meds and is not hurting so much.

I feel tired and worried. I'm hoping the doctors will say he has a lot longer to go and that the treatment will start soon. Thankfully, my dad is very open to it.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Crazy last few days

My poor dad finally went to the hospital and he was close to dying. Apparently, he was having a very hard time w/ eating and was hallucinating because he didn't want to eat. We found out he has bone and prostrate cancer. I read up the symptoms and a certain type, if he has it, would explain a lot of his behavior. I'm hoping he has multiple myeloma, as this is what my husband's grandfather had. He survived another 20 yrs and died of something unrelated.

I've heard good things about prostrate cancer being survivable with medications/treatment as well. I feel numb at the moment and hope the next thing I hear will be treatments as well as time.

There has been a lot of verbal support and for this I am grateful. I'm saddened that there isn't more of this but a person carries what they want to carry. I'm certainly not going to stress out about that. It reflects where people are in their spiritual path and maturity level. I'm glad I have a lot of very good people around me and in my life.

All of this has made me see my father in a much more positive way. It's good to relate to him. Maybe it's because he's being treated (and not in so much pain, finally) that's making him speak so well. It's a very good thing. I thank all the good people and all the Good in this world for giving him clarity. I wonder if this has been effecting him for years and we just didn't know/understand. Again, so grateful for him getting treatment.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Praying

for my dad. He went willingly to the hospital (thank God). He refused all day yesterday. I talked to him last night, the first thing he did when he woke up was say, call 911, I'll go. He was very afraid, from what I heard from my mom. He was crying and scared but he went and this is a huge relief. I told him all my exploits when I had to go to the hospital (birthing and eventually hysterectomy). I told him how I felt, what went on and how he might feel too. Thank goodness he listened and realized that something was wrong. I told my brother the signs to look for if it's serious (not going to the bathroom, etc). I said he'd probably be in there for 2-3 days and make sure all his fluids are normal and breathing is better.

Some results came back...kidneys are swollen and they are checking out his heart/lungs,etc. Deep breath. Hopefully, my mom and dad will get a nurse to help at home once he is released.

I'm just really glad we can connect quickly and talk to each other. Thank goodness for this.

During all of this, we were very fortunate to have people help us fix up the house. There is so much that has been done, I can't believe it. I feel sort of discombobulated about the changes. It's great and a much needed thing to have done. :)

I have a headache from either pollen or dust. I can't tell. It's irritating as it makes me feel worse.

If you are a praying person or would like to send good thoughts, please add my dad and family to them. Thank you.

Here are some good things to remind me all is well:

1. It rained after I forgot to water the garden.
2. My dad is in a safe place and getting care.
3. My kids have sweet friends.
4. I have sweet kids.
5. I have a sweet husband.
6. I have sweet pets.
7. I have a lot of love in my life.
8. I'm grateful for this life, even with all the ups and downs.

I want to make sure to reflect back all the good that is shared with me. I'm definitely going to do more volunteering and help others.

Friday, June 10, 2011

nearly finished an 18 by 24 inch painting...

I still have a few things to tighten up on the painting I've been working on all week. It's funny, I just had to paint it. I really love the size of it and the details...I will photograph soon.

Lately, I've been watching a few films by my self. For some reason, I'm drawn to films about people who have some sort of mental illness. It's a desire, on my part, to understand this. I'm watching "Nobody's Child". It makes me really sad on one level and I really want to be hopeful about the main character's desire to get better. I guess I wish this for all the people who suffer from some sort of imbalance. It must be horrible to have something like this going on inside of us, yet look somewhat normal on the outside.

I just got a call from a loved one...ramblings and the same stuff that is part of someone who is not functioning. Unfortunately, it's abusive. I really wish there was a cure my loved one's illness. It really is frustrating.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Feeling tired.

I feel like I could fall asleep for a few hours and get up at midnight and do whatever needs getting done. It's mostly because of doing the Wii. I tried this canoe feature and they make you get all the duckies home to mama. It really works you upper body and sides. Geesh. It was a lot of fun...just not used to using those muscles (read:out of shape). But all the ducklings made it home to their mama duck,thanks to me. lol

On a totally different note, we've been doing research for our church at St. Luke's...trying to make a connection to the stories of how our rectory was used to harbor slaves and possibly John Brown. Well, I made sent out a few emails and to my delight, I found out there are most likely many stops in Altoona. I can only say, it amazes me at the how there is so much strength and humanity when in times of crisis as in the years of Abolition. From what I'm gathering, there were many safe houses along this route to Canada. Many churches and homes were used by slaves making their way to freedom came through here, over the mountain to start new lives in Canada or stopping along the way to find jobs as servants with freedom. It's truly amazing. Harriet Gaston is supplying so much information. She mentioned several books, which I need to borrow and read, which show how our Blair County was a big part of this movement in a very quiet way. I understand how secrecy at the time was so important...there were bounties on slaves and those who helped to expose them. The churches in this area had to be very quiet and only through word of mouth, could some things be shared. I can't imagine how horrible a time it must have been. Regardless, it makes me very proud that something like this happened here. Not just in some far off place like Boston or New York. It makes me a little sad that only 2 books really record any of this...one published in 1937. I want to know more about this and I think, the more people realize how very historic this is, they will want to know as well. I wish the History Detectives could get involved. I really think it's amazing.

We still have a lot of research to cover and not just sitting at the computer. This seems to be my summer project. :) It feels like a good one too.

On a different note, I'm working on some new paintings and wood carvings. I'm also trying to get Jon to build me an outdoor easel...something I can go outside and stick a painting on without having to worry about dragging it inside. Our mulberry tree is getting such good shade, we can go outside and not worry too much about sun. What a change from when we first moved here and there was nothing but a few bushes around. I love that we have trees and we hope for more still.

I think I'll turn on "Emily of New Moon" and do some more painting. The kids are outside with Jon as he builds the ladder for the tree house he's making. I hope it's sturdy enough for me. We shall see. Have a great evening and keep an eye out for fireflies and bats. ;)

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Threat of storms

That's what I heard all day on the PBS station...cyclones, hail, pouring rain. I don't know if we got any of it in my area as I feel asleep for an hour. My head was pounding from either allergies or storm pressure. My ear is still aching but it feel a bit better now that I took some Motrin.

The pavement has this blurred effect from the heat...if I was a lizard, I'd be in heaven. There are things I need to do such as clean the bathroom and mow Mr. Nelson down (trim our Bichon's hair down) but I feel sort of like going back to take a nap.

My husband sent me a link to this artist, Ryan Alexiev. He is Bulgarian, too. What I thought was odd/interesting was he was born in Los Angeles much like I was born in Hollywood. He later was raised in Alaska. Now, that is cool. His website is really colorful as he works in cereal. I also checked out his links page...very edgy art. Lots of it is theoretical stuff...makes me feel sort of sad as it reminds me of my college days but at the same time sort of wondering what is the point? Why be so disconnected from every day people? I guess this is my realist side popping out. lol

I guess I find really modern stuff basically sterile. Maybe I'm a reverse snob, I don't know.

Anyway, it was sort of like walking down the cold halls of a museum and feeling sort of like you're in an interesting nightmare. lol I think I like art where it comes from the heart and not just books and measurements. Yep, I'm a reverse snob. sorry.

In other news, I'm enjoying the mock orange on my dining room table. It is surrounded by all my projects, piles of sewing I need to finish and a several boxes of paints and kids stuff. How did it get to be 15 to 3pm?

The good thing is I made it to the post office and mailed out a few things. I wish I had more energy to do some art things.

Oh, and I talked to my mom and dad. I'm praying they will be all right and I made up w/ my dad (again). He was upset about the phone and wanting to talk. Oh, well. I'm thinking about some things I want to accomplish. I hope I can do some things this summer. Hope everyone has a good day and isn't too over heated. At least I know the people in the West are having some good weather. Love you all!

Sociable

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