Monday, June 20, 2011

Sickness

So, my dad is in the hospital and is getting cared for. He has a huge list of things he is trying to get controlled...all coming from the same sort, prostate cancer. It's a huge tumor that pressing on all his vital organs. I found out things like this can effect your thinking/brain as well.

I'm feeling very frustrated. I'm over here in PA and they are all on the West Coast. I asked my mom if she wants me to fly in and help. She said it's all right and Daniel and David are doing a good job. I'm still going to see about getting things together in case they need me for anything. I feel better about having a plan.

My sis/family approached my dad the other day. It didn't go well. My dad slumped into his old behavior...like I didn't see that coming. Unfortunately, all the family who is "well" acted inappropriately and started talking loudly to him and demanding him to change. I found out he had to go back on oxygen mask after everyone left.

I'm sorry, but that is not right. It makes things worse to confront someone when they are so ill and makes it not about the sick person but about their emotional hang-ups. I hate to sound so insensitive but, it's wrong to expect an elderly/sick/mentally ill person to change to fit your expectations. Ignoring their situation is seeing people like cartoon characters instead of human beings with all their flaws as well as all their good qualities.

The sad thing is there are other people who are making my dad's illness about them too. I just can't believe these are people are so blind. That is all I can say about them.

Honestly, this brings me back to what I have always thought. Finding a good therapist and going for a few years (or longer, if need be) is a very good thing. I noticed the people who do go to therapy or who are trying to understand themselves, are usually much nicer to be around. And they usually project good feelings when you are around them.

I'll give one book recommendation. Dale Carnegie's "How to make Friends and Influence People". Read it as soon as possible. Let it be the first step in feeling better about your self and making other's feel better in the process.

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