Got to sleep in, thank you God! The weather isn't as bad was reported to be, either. I may be able to get those dogs out for a walk. The gals are going to a party, Jon is doing some church stuff/chores and Harrison is mellow playing by him self. I feel about 75% better...still coughing and all that blah, blah, blah stuff of being sick. But doing better. :)
I'm sad that my Dad seems to have lost more of his thinking ability and on bad days acts like a child. This is a real blow for all of us...especially, my Mom. I'm hoping, when all is said and done, we can get them to move out here and I can help/we can help each other.
For some reason, I've been getting better at cleaning up after everyone. I guess that means I getting less sick and more active. :) All good things.
Why do small things seem to stress us, me out so much? I honestly think it has to do with feeling physically ill and this does make those mole hills seem like mountains. Thankfully, this is passing too. I need to realize in these down moments, I'm actually creating plans to get stuff done once I'm better.
Hope everyone is having a good Saturday. I need to go and call my Mom and see how she's doing. Have a great weekend. :)
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Good Days, bad days, repeat
I talked to my Mom for about 20 minutes before I had to leave and get the kids. My Dad is stable but acts like a 3 year old. It's so hard for everyone. I feel sad about everything. Apparently, the stroke did more damage to his cognitive skills and he's regressing (more than usual). Sometimes, he's all right and acts somewhat normal. Yesterday was a bad day. I'm so sorry that my Mom has to deal with all of this...let alone the nurses. He has gotten into physical fights w/ people...refusing therapy, changing, feeding, medicine, etc, etc. What do you do with this behavior?? You can't sedate him because he'll just sleep all day (which he wants to do anyway), he has no desire to move or get out of there. My Mom is considering taking him home and seeing if that makes a difference. I don't know. I know she can do a certain amount to help him and make him comfortable but his mental state is so up and down, I just hope we can get her some aides to help each day and give her a break.
I'm reminded of when my parents used to take care of some elderly people at their home. One woman, Mary Z., had Alzheimer's and was really hard to deal with. She would wander, get into trouble by talking to strangers (had her apartment robbed twice) and just was the standard person with dementia. I don't think my dad is so bad, but when he's spitting food into people's faces, you have to wonder. It's upsetting and makes me angry that the stroke has taken so much of his control (physically and behaviorally)away.
Oy! Sometimes life just throws this curves at people you love. I hope today was a better day for my Mom and that my brother's and sister help her out more.
Thank God is it Friday and we can relax a bit with no getting up early, driving in the rain, etc, etc. I'm really ready for Spring. :) I think we have to wait for another 2 more months. sigh...and I've got to start planning a trip to California to visit my parents.
I'm reminded of when my parents used to take care of some elderly people at their home. One woman, Mary Z., had Alzheimer's and was really hard to deal with. She would wander, get into trouble by talking to strangers (had her apartment robbed twice) and just was the standard person with dementia. I don't think my dad is so bad, but when he's spitting food into people's faces, you have to wonder. It's upsetting and makes me angry that the stroke has taken so much of his control (physically and behaviorally)away.
Oy! Sometimes life just throws this curves at people you love. I hope today was a better day for my Mom and that my brother's and sister help her out more.
Thank God is it Friday and we can relax a bit with no getting up early, driving in the rain, etc, etc. I'm really ready for Spring. :) I think we have to wait for another 2 more months. sigh...and I've got to start planning a trip to California to visit my parents.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
it's melting, it's melting~~
Thank goodness it's melting. Of course, we'll probably get more snow/ice but for now it's dripping. I like/love that sound. :)
I'm a little embarrassed. I was in the line at the market and I had one of those carts that have a car attached for kids. Well, Harrison kicked off a candy price tag thing and I bent down to pick it up. I think I accidentally bumped the person in front. I didn't realize till I saw these meanie looks from the cashier and bagging lady. I felt sort of like, geesh. I didn't mean to do this and instead of making me wonder why they were staring at me in this mean way, they should have said, you bumped her. I would have totally apoligized! When they looked at me like that I didn't put two and two together until she had already walked away. I didn't even realize anything had happened. Honestly, it felt like a accident and shouldn't have deserved a scowl. If anything, the woman should have said you bumped me or excuse me. I felt sort of like I was an ogre monster because she was so tiny and acted like I did a bump/space invasion on purpose. Geesh. It made me feel bad...if I even did anything. I still don't know.
I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Before that Harrison was crying as we went into the store and across the parking lot. Why? Because I left his snow shovel in the car. Sorry. Can't bring that into the market. He pouted the whole time. Oh, well. There has to be some limits.
Anyway, my ear/throat/sinus feels clogged again. I can't believe I'm getting another cold/ear infection. Maybe it's from stress? I'm taking vitamins every day and it's annoying to just be getting better and now this.
Oh, I just realized I probably have to do the newsletter for church. I'll work on it after lunch I think. I feel depressed. I shouldn't. It's probably cabin fever.
Monday, January 23, 2012
at times you want to cry
Been talking to my mom and getting good reports about my dad. He's showing progress with his arm...can squeeze her hand, is making jokes and his spirit seems more like his old self. This is such a change since last week...I'm glad he's coming through this darkness and stabilizing. The doctors have said his clot is even gone...amazing. I just feel so overwhelmed. I can imagine a little of how my family is feeling. I hope they all know how much I love them, even if I vent on here and get annoyed sometimes.
I'm thankful for the kindness of their roommate, the doctors, nurses and aides. It's amazing how things are progressing. He can walk, a little and each day seems to bring new gifts and stretching lessons...sometimes, it's not that easy and it's rough. They are taking each day as it comes. It brings back a lot of memories when I worked as a nurse aid for senior care. Some of it is a little painful and sad...and other times, you see it as a way of bringing something positive to just one person.
In some good kid news, the gals won a basketball game. I forgot to tell my mom. They were like, yeah, we won! lol No biggie. I was like, wow! Jon was happy and my dad-in-law went to the game. I just want a good experience for the kids and they seem to be getting it.
After school today, the gals built snowmen in the yard and Harrison must have shoveled 20 feet of snow (he brings his little shovel everywhere we go, just in case). The poor kid fell asleep right in the middle of dinner. The gals didn't even protest (not too much) to go to bed on time. All in all, it's a good thing. This is probably one of the nicest winters in terms of weather and doing fun things. I feel blessed.
Last Saturday was tough as I had a migraine and Sunday felt taxing. There was some odd thing going on at church but I guess people wanted to share their feelings. It's all good. I just wish people would think of church as a relationship with others and that arguing in service is damaging to little ears. It's like parents forgetting to be parents and just acting out in front of their children, other people's children and only thinking of their own needs. It's not cool or considerate or thoughtful. I'm ashamed to say, my dad would do these things too and disrupt church services because he had to share his POV and have an argument. It made me feel very uncomfortable and ashamed.
I truly believe talking at the right place and time is what makes relationships work. I'm certainly not perfect and have had many failures. lol Believe me. However, catching ones self and changing those patterns, is part of learning from those mistakes. I truly believe seeking out help, whether by books or therapists, is a step in the right direction. I'm praying for everyone at our church.
I guess every group has situations like this. I know my family had a rough patch for many years (16 yrs of not talking to my sister, 5 or so yrs not talking to me, etc) but we've so changed in the last few months. I still can't believe it sometimes. I guess this is why I just want to cry at times...happy tears.
Certainly, there are other family members out there that we're still estranged from. My door is open to them (within reason). They decided to shut me out (literally and figuratively). I can't do anything for them but to wish them the best and carry on with my sweetly dysfunctional family.
Sigh...life is not meant to be perfect, is it? I'm okay with that...as long as there is a little chocolate, a little laughter and a lot of love.
I'm thankful for the kindness of their roommate, the doctors, nurses and aides. It's amazing how things are progressing. He can walk, a little and each day seems to bring new gifts and stretching lessons...sometimes, it's not that easy and it's rough. They are taking each day as it comes. It brings back a lot of memories when I worked as a nurse aid for senior care. Some of it is a little painful and sad...and other times, you see it as a way of bringing something positive to just one person.
In some good kid news, the gals won a basketball game. I forgot to tell my mom. They were like, yeah, we won! lol No biggie. I was like, wow! Jon was happy and my dad-in-law went to the game. I just want a good experience for the kids and they seem to be getting it.
After school today, the gals built snowmen in the yard and Harrison must have shoveled 20 feet of snow (he brings his little shovel everywhere we go, just in case). The poor kid fell asleep right in the middle of dinner. The gals didn't even protest (not too much) to go to bed on time. All in all, it's a good thing. This is probably one of the nicest winters in terms of weather and doing fun things. I feel blessed.
Last Saturday was tough as I had a migraine and Sunday felt taxing. There was some odd thing going on at church but I guess people wanted to share their feelings. It's all good. I just wish people would think of church as a relationship with others and that arguing in service is damaging to little ears. It's like parents forgetting to be parents and just acting out in front of their children, other people's children and only thinking of their own needs. It's not cool or considerate or thoughtful. I'm ashamed to say, my dad would do these things too and disrupt church services because he had to share his POV and have an argument. It made me feel very uncomfortable and ashamed.
I truly believe talking at the right place and time is what makes relationships work. I'm certainly not perfect and have had many failures. lol Believe me. However, catching ones self and changing those patterns, is part of learning from those mistakes. I truly believe seeking out help, whether by books or therapists, is a step in the right direction. I'm praying for everyone at our church.
I guess every group has situations like this. I know my family had a rough patch for many years (16 yrs of not talking to my sister, 5 or so yrs not talking to me, etc) but we've so changed in the last few months. I still can't believe it sometimes. I guess this is why I just want to cry at times...happy tears.
Certainly, there are other family members out there that we're still estranged from. My door is open to them (within reason). They decided to shut me out (literally and figuratively). I can't do anything for them but to wish them the best and carry on with my sweetly dysfunctional family.
Sigh...life is not meant to be perfect, is it? I'm okay with that...as long as there is a little chocolate, a little laughter and a lot of love.
5:05pm = Tired
I should be making something for dinner but I feel tired. I made a bunch of soft pretzals. Maybe we can make scrambled eggs or something. I dont' feel like cooking...maybe take out? :) :)
Anyway, Harrison and I did some intense cleaning in the basement. Okay, I did the cleaning, he did the messing. I have moonsand down there and he loves to play with it and throw it everywhere. I've decided to clean out more of my studio and see what I've got stored in there to use it up or give it away or if it's dried up, toss. I got rid of a large garbage bag so far. I'm pleased. I have a lot of old clothing...stuff that's worn and I think I'll start making rags/stuff to quilt and the rest tossing/donating. I don't think Salvation army or the thrift store takes old clothing to use for quilts. Too bad...mostly old sweatpants for some reason. Don't ask me why.
I'm seeing progress, so that's good. There are several large items I need to get rid of (this old metal shelf that Jon got from his sister's...it's rusty! and a bunch of broken electronics). Now that I know the one recycling takes everything, I'll start gathering stuff up. I always dread adding to landfills so, it's great to recycle.
I would like to have a yard sale...supposed to be a big indoor one in February at the Jaffa. I don't know if I want to do that...I can imagine coming home with a lot more too. hahaha It's nice to clear things out.
Anyway, Harrison and I did some intense cleaning in the basement. Okay, I did the cleaning, he did the messing. I have moonsand down there and he loves to play with it and throw it everywhere. I've decided to clean out more of my studio and see what I've got stored in there to use it up or give it away or if it's dried up, toss. I got rid of a large garbage bag so far. I'm pleased. I have a lot of old clothing...stuff that's worn and I think I'll start making rags/stuff to quilt and the rest tossing/donating. I don't think Salvation army or the thrift store takes old clothing to use for quilts. Too bad...mostly old sweatpants for some reason. Don't ask me why.
I'm seeing progress, so that's good. There are several large items I need to get rid of (this old metal shelf that Jon got from his sister's...it's rusty! and a bunch of broken electronics). Now that I know the one recycling takes everything, I'll start gathering stuff up. I always dread adding to landfills so, it's great to recycle.
I would like to have a yard sale...supposed to be a big indoor one in February at the Jaffa. I don't know if I want to do that...I can imagine coming home with a lot more too. hahaha It's nice to clear things out.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
ready for take off
he likes to imagine he is taking off in a rocket. He says the count down and then blasts off. Every other time, he says, it needs batteries. lol!
getting over the flu
we're much better now and this was at the tail end. The littlest of our clan was still sick for a bit. I think I love this photo as it shows our ever faithful, Miss Penny dog, by our side.
today is better
I feel whiny and annoyed but NO HEADACHE! :) I feel like I wasted so many hours not feeling good yesterday, but what can you do w/ a headache/earache combo? Today is much, much better. :)
I hope this coming week is calm and stable for everyone. I think all this snow is being stuck inside from the cold, is making nerves short and cabin fever flair. Part of life, I guess.
Annoyingly, we didn't make it to the art reception. I knew I wasn't going to be 100% to do anything. Plus, having a kid vomit from her loft bed...not pretty or easy to clean. bleh~~
Good news: My Dad is moved to a rehabilitation center for 3 weeks. Praying he responds well to the therapies and he gets into a good spirit. He is not one to smile willingly (unless to make fun of people, etc). Now, it's part of his daily exercise...just to smile. Ironic...
Anywho, have a great rest of the weekend.
I hope this coming week is calm and stable for everyone. I think all this snow is being stuck inside from the cold, is making nerves short and cabin fever flair. Part of life, I guess.
Annoyingly, we didn't make it to the art reception. I knew I wasn't going to be 100% to do anything. Plus, having a kid vomit from her loft bed...not pretty or easy to clean. bleh~~
Good news: My Dad is moved to a rehabilitation center for 3 weeks. Praying he responds well to the therapies and he gets into a good spirit. He is not one to smile willingly (unless to make fun of people, etc). Now, it's part of his daily exercise...just to smile. Ironic...
Anywho, have a great rest of the weekend.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
snow day
We had a great snow day w/ the kids. They really had a lot of fun with each other. Yes, there are tons of pics. I wish I had felt better when their friend came over to take more pics but I've had a headache since yesterday. I think it's from the additional dust/smoke smell when Jon was trying to fix the furnace. It's also from being outside int the cold...earache. Very annoying. I need to add water to the humidifier as my nose is getting chapped/dry and bloody. not fun.
I got to take a nice nap for 2.5 hours. My eyes are sort of blurry at the moment, so it's hard to type. I feel like I got a gift to talk to my mom and earlier to my sis. So, all feels good and comfortable in this respect. It's funny how having a good conversation with people you love, really feels like a satisfying meal. I don't know why that is, but it's true.
I don't know about tomorrow. We were planning to go to an art reception in Bedford but with all this snow and feeling not 100%, I need the extra time to relax and putter. There is so much we do on Sundays, church and then family time w/ a big family meal. We shall see.
I feel happy right now. I also saw "The Last Unicorn". I love that movie and it was so nice to watch the animation as well as the story.
I just nasal flushed and hopefully, this will make sinus issues better. I just wish my ear didn't hurt so much. I know this sounds strange but when I was outside it felt like the wind left a ice piece in the back of my head and it really hurt.
The one thing I'm really glad about is I finished the kids mareep project. I made 3 of them and the kids were happy to get them, I hope. It was very difficult as I wasn't sure about the pattern/and I got the shape a little confused. But all in all, I got it done. I'll have pics up soon. I think I'll try and make some other sweet pokemon fans I know, something pokemon for them too. It's so neat how something like pokemon can reach so many different kids and age groups. I just think that is awesome.
Right now my kids are watching a Huckleberry Finn animation. It's by a Japanese company and they started off with Tom Sawyer. Now, I have to find a copy of the Emily of New Moon and Anne of Green Gables series. That would be awesome!
I got to take a nice nap for 2.5 hours. My eyes are sort of blurry at the moment, so it's hard to type. I feel like I got a gift to talk to my mom and earlier to my sis. So, all feels good and comfortable in this respect. It's funny how having a good conversation with people you love, really feels like a satisfying meal. I don't know why that is, but it's true.
I don't know about tomorrow. We were planning to go to an art reception in Bedford but with all this snow and feeling not 100%, I need the extra time to relax and putter. There is so much we do on Sundays, church and then family time w/ a big family meal. We shall see.
I feel happy right now. I also saw "The Last Unicorn". I love that movie and it was so nice to watch the animation as well as the story.
I just nasal flushed and hopefully, this will make sinus issues better. I just wish my ear didn't hurt so much. I know this sounds strange but when I was outside it felt like the wind left a ice piece in the back of my head and it really hurt.
The one thing I'm really glad about is I finished the kids mareep project. I made 3 of them and the kids were happy to get them, I hope. It was very difficult as I wasn't sure about the pattern/and I got the shape a little confused. But all in all, I got it done. I'll have pics up soon. I think I'll try and make some other sweet pokemon fans I know, something pokemon for them too. It's so neat how something like pokemon can reach so many different kids and age groups. I just think that is awesome.
Right now my kids are watching a Huckleberry Finn animation. It's by a Japanese company and they started off with Tom Sawyer. Now, I have to find a copy of the Emily of New Moon and Anne of Green Gables series. That would be awesome!
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