I hate cancer

I fucking hate it. (sorry for the use of bad language, but I'm really not...just really upset...I'd use fracking but not too many would know it is much work than the old "f" word). It's a horrible disease that robs every single person in the world of joy and light. We lost my sister in law, my only big sister, to pancreatic cancer this weekend. It was way too soon and it was horrible. It makes me angry that this is not being cured and upset that people are in such pain. That is the worst part....the pain.

When I think of all the people I've lost most of them are from cancer...few, sadly, are old age. I've talked with my mom about it and I've read about how the cells start to mutate and attack themselves for whatever reason. I just wish, wish wish, there was a cure or at least a way to turn around the cell thinking into repair mode. Maybe some day in the future.

Right now, a heavy weight is on our hearts and minds. Life continues but in the quiet moments, after the hustle and bustle, we have time to mourn our dear sister, Julie Gottshall. She was so quiet and shy and reclusive. She was probably want to slap my hand for even writing her name above. That's why I couldn't write about it often...she would have hated it and resented me for adding her to the pages of my blog/FB or what ever. She wrote a book under a pseudonym, Sally Ann Malec and we published it for her...I want to change the cover and add her name, properly. It was her baby and her life. I feel sad that all her dreams, she wanted to write more books and stories, are gone with her. She said she stored them in her head...at least we have her book and in digital format (thanks to her dad). Which is more than a lot of people can say, including my self.

Feisty and unnerving at times and laced with honey, she could be a handful when her mask of quiet melted away. It's all good. Just really stinks and suck that this happened so quickly...I wouldn't want her to suffer longer but how I wish she didn't have this and would have lived to an old age instead of 54. Seems so young. Oddly, she lived just one year shy of 55, the same age her beloved author, Louisa May Alcott passed away. Strangely similar. I'll miss you Julie and try to do right by you and our artistic capabilities. <3 p="">


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