Friday, January 23, 2015

Creating positive change

My sister in law, Julie, passed away on the 11th of Jan 2015. It's less than 2 weeks. My overwhelming feeling was to just get up and move. As in move to a different part of the country/world. I guess that's normal to feel. You just feel like you want to dump everything that isn't important and go some where less painful...at least I do/did. I'm starting to calm down a little and the thought of her being gone but not gone in our hearts is easing a bit.

For some reason, watching crafting videos made things feel better as did making stuff. It is also so good to talk to good friends and have warm hugs from caring people. In this regard, I'm very grateful for this sorrow. But it is sorrow and knowing and naming it this, helps. I just wish it would warm up and not be 10 degrees or so for weeks on end.

Creating positive change comes with realization that things don't need to be so dark even in death. It doesn't take away the loss or hide it or make it less painful but embraces it and allows the waves of sorrow to come and go. No one is alone in their sorrow. We have all felt it from the very beginning of existence. I watched my favorite speaker, Leo Buscaglia. He said it best when he said, I'm not afraid of death, anymore. I use it as a reminder that I have limited time to do what I want and to get moving... Yes, it's that easy. We are all going to leave this earth, some day. Hopefully, not for a long time but we all do. I'd rather carry on and know that my loved ones who are gone, are with me, free of pain and encouraging us to do better. 

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