Wednesday, May 22, 2013

wednesday and still humid

Lately, I've been doing lots of little art projects and just not photographing them. I think my mind has been a bit overwhelmed it and it's just enough to make it and move on to then next project. Maybe it's allergies and getting over a cold feeling mixed with mild depression. I have been having dreams again...nothing earth shattering...usually I can't breath (stuffed up nose, hint, hint) or giant trees growing and this green light coming from inside...and when I see the cross section there are light green fairies creating streams of light and in the ground is a man/person curled up giving this greenish glow. It's a bit freaky and beautiful in the dream. my attempts at drawing it out always fail but I want to get that feeling. It makes me think of the story I heard as a child of Native Indians burying fish to give the corn strength as it grew. My general feeling about the dream is one of awe, curiosity and this feeling and wanting to do something. Maybe it means I need to garden and plant something in honor of my dad? I don't know but it makes me feel like something needs to be done.

I've had total lack of energy of late. I've been doing pilates and moving around more but after this and taking care of the kids/home I just don't want to do anything else. In other words, go any where, go to church or out to relatives homes, etc. I feel like people try and nudge and push and it just makes me want to dig in my heels. I can hear my dad's voice saying, stubborn as a mule. It sounds good to me.

What I want to do is fall in love with an art project and obsess about it for a few weeks. I don't want anyone to bother me or me to be bothered with very much but working on the art.

I guess I have been doing this, in my own way. Between child/family stuff I've got my art stacked up and combing through pieces and touching up and finishing here  and there.

I've been helping the kids with their school projects and this has helped me mentally get out of my funk. I pulled out my paper mache stuff and we did some and I had a good time. I figured out some things as well about drying the pieces (I can put them in the oven at the lowest setting and they will dry). I don't know why these things take me a long time to click. Again, it's like I had some sort of amnesia because so much was in the way (responsibilities). I'm glad to cut back and refocus.

I've been re-reading one of my favorite authors, Sue Bender. She understands about listening to your self and what fits your emotional state.

Maybe I'll think about sharing some art later on. But for now, I'm fine with puttering along. Maybe it's all the storms and sad news...whatever it is, I've got to take time to process it all.


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