Yesterday must have been one of the oddest days in some time. I talked to several people and am trying to listen and take in a lot of information.
First, I talked to my mom and she revealed some sad things about my dad's past. I'm still trying to digest this but it fits a lot, A LOT of why he was so overly protective. It makes me feel so sad we didn't try therapy and get ways to cope/deal with these anxieties to keep us safe. My feeling is many people would benefit from therapy, family therapy and even group therapy not because it deals with communicating and getting to the heart of the matter but because it gives us strategies to cope with our fears. A friend once told me that fear is at the root of a many issues and I couldn't agree more. On a different level there is power struggles and that has roots in fear as well (fear of the unknown, fear of loss of status, fear of being lonely, fear of shame and humiliation, fear of loss, etc). All of this can be helped with support, listening, medicine and practice.
Second, a person who has hurt us in the past came and apoligized. I was very surprised and still am, by this. It gives me a sense of hope and we shall see what the future holds. I just feel worn out by everything. It seems like life does have an odd feeling like a Hallmark movie. I'd prefer people to not be so uptight about things (control issues) and just relax and hang out. Friends don't need to be competitive but we can learn from each other and be civil. It's getting to be very tedious to have so much melodrama when all you want are some friends to go for a walk with, share a meal, and possibly worship at the same church. It's that simple.
Anywho, I've got floors to mop, things to dust and hopefully art to make. Life is a good and sweet if you put the work into it. It doesn't have to be perfect but there needs to be progress. Have a good day. <3 br="">3>