Feeling tired on this cold Monday morn

It's a new week and I feel totally tired and grumpy. I think I might be getting a cold as I just feel not my self. All the kids have runny noses, grumpy and tired. Lydia is staying home and is snoring on my bed. Harrison is dripping snot everywhere and curled up on the couch watching TV and feeling sluggish. I think we're just all feeling sick and blah.

Jon had to resign from our church as Senior Warden. Some events happened that we couldn't ignore and we just were worried about safety issues. We'll see how things progress in the future but right now, we'll take a break and pray for a rector and change.

It was a very heartbreaking choice because we want to do good community work based in Christianity. It's amazing how a few people can really make things difficult for no reason then they want "power". My feeling is there is not power or need to have control over things especially in a church by groups. We need a leader to follow and guide us (someone who has been trained and gone to school for seminar's as well as someone who is willing). Well, guess what we got just that persons (two in fact) and instead of getting support, they got shunned and dismissed. People left the church with their buds and basically put us into financial ruin.

The worst of this is 85% of the church is based on volunteers. The people who left decided to attack the volunteers by humiliating them in person, behind their backs and on Face book. They went to events held by the church and created discord by making fun of regular people who wanted to do something positive and Christ based. I have never seen anything on this scale in my life. I have seen and heard people treated poorly based on their skin color, ethnicity and backgrounds...but NEVER at a church. I've gone to many different churches over the years...everything from traditional Protestant, Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish Synagogue's, and so on. Some places of worship, I've only gone a few times, others for years and some I've seen change and people leaving as well. But I've never seen people leave and then attack from afar. Maybe these people never were religious and that is why they are so furious. I, honestly, feel this is the problem. There was something truly corrupt in the first place, something they didn't deal with or get past and now, it's come to fruition in the form of bitterness and spite times 1000. I truly pray for these people and hope they get help.

The problem isn't that it's a matter of disagreements. I'm all for arguing and talking about things. The problem is when people do physical attacks...verbal and physically on people. When they exclude people for any event or group and act like it's not their responsibility and the person's excluded are "so sensitive". No...it's called bullying and they are bullies. I know small towns usually have a bad rap for this...especially people moving into a small town...but on the whole, I'd say there are a lot of wonderful good people.

So, I'm taking some time off to heal and not be a target for attacks. The sad thing is I really thought going to a liberal, progressive church would be free of crap like this. I feel a bit like my heart has been bruised but I also feel like, I know who truly good and loving people are and how they behave. Bad people are always around, however, we need to stand up to these people and say No and remove ourselves from unhealthy situations.

My husband told me about Eleanor Roosevelt and how she stood up to a group called the Daughters of the American Revolution. "When the black singer Marian Anderson was denied the use of Washington's Constitution Hall in 1939 by the Daughters of the American Revolution, Eleanor resigned the group in protest and helped arrange another concert on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial." This is why Jon and I are stepping down and away from our church. It was so upsetting to see all these people want to "move forward" just when the rector was leaving. Oh, really? Where were you 2 years ago? Where were you when people were vilified and called names? Where were you when your own parishioners were smeared with rumors and lies? Where were you when good people were treated like criminals because they wanted to follow Jesus' teachings and the traditions of the Episcopal church? I don't get it. I don't. I can only pray they get some professional help and stop bothering everyone else. 

Anyway, we shall see how things go. I know there are a lot of good people and I need to focus on this. We had lots of good memories and experiences regardless of some small minded people.


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