Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Grass is greener

Lately, when I've been feeling down & start to think things aren't as great as I'd like them to be, I start to think other people have better lives then me. When this happens, that feeling of jealousy rears it's head. I notice I will have hardly any sympathy or kind word to think/say about whatever it is I'm jealous about. So, what do you do at this point? Do I just stew in my juices and shake my fist to the sky? Well, maybe for 5 to 10 minutes. :) But after this is all said and done, it's time to get past this and work on my own garden plot. Once I'm able to name that feeling, in this case jealousy, I'm able to find ways to cope and get past this. Here are some tips I found helpful from this site
  • Always examine your jealous thoughts for a sense of entitlement. Whatever it is that someone is getting and you're not (thus sparking jealousy) is something that you feel entitled to; something that you feel is rightfully yours. Instead of trying to convince someone (through jealous behavior) that they should give you what you want, think of ways you can earn it. Focus on being a good person.
  • The best way to make someone spend even more time away from you is to act jealous. When you're being angry, snarky or sarcastic, you're not only less fun to be around, you're making the person feel that you think you own them.
  • Prepare a list of good qualities about yourself and focus inward. This will help resolve any internal insecurities that you have. Remember, those insecurities are manifested outwardly through your jealousy.
  • Do not let them see that you are jealous, because they could have the right to be mad at you.
  • Give yourself a day to cool down, do not react immediately. Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Do not believe anything until you have actually seen it.... but if you have a bad feeling and you are absolutely convinced your partner is cheating, then just walk away, it is hard but time heals any wound, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
  • Overcoming jealousy will take time. Be patient with yourself.
  • Never let your feelings of jealousy push you to abuse someone, verbally or physically.
  • Don't get angry at the person you're jealous of - it will only make things worse.
  • always take a second to tell them how much you love them
  • Just because you feel or see something in your mind, doesn't mean it is true. Focus on reality.

1 comment:

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