Wednesday, February 01, 2012

thinking and praying

My Dad had another stroke, yesterday. It was a big one. It was at the convelesant hospital. The dr in charge, who we thought we had gotten changed, didn't take him to the main hospital and said there was nothing they could do because of his pre-existing issues. I'm upset about the whole thing. I talked to my Mom and we prayed. I told her she's done as much as she can do...my Dad fights w/ everyone with medication. He does not want to do anything willingly.

His reasoning skills weren't this bad before the fall. My Mom has told me many times how his thinking has basically repeated statements he knows pushes peoples buttons. And pushes them away. The strokes have made this even worse. I'm praying all is well and calm but I don't know. My Mom is a mess and I'm starting to think I need to get out there and help. It's just difficult w/ the kids,etc.

I also have two ear infections and that is why I'm up at 6 am typing this out. What is a comfort for me and what I told my Mom is God has everything in his hands. We don't have to worry so much and be scared because there is a lot of good and kindness out there. It's just scary when it's someone you love or your self that is going through painful life changes...it makes you want to lash out at the world and rage. Or else hide away and cry. Both are normal responses...

Anyway, all I can do is pray that things get better or if not, at least know we are being taken care of by a lot of Good.

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