Monday, July 18, 2011

It's hot

Yeah, I know. Most of the USA is hot and I shouldn't complain. I feel sort of sick to my stomach from it and my sinus's hurt. Yesterday, I felt dizzy from the heat and it bothered my inner ear. Awful. I spent most of today inside, thank goodness. It's helping a little.

I'm nervous for my dad as well. Talked to him and it was hard to follow him/understand but I just kept being patient and just try to calm the rough patches by saying "thank you" and reassuring him he's a good dad, etc. I'm firm but at the same time, I don't let it get under my skin as I know it's not him. I talked to my mom and she said there are side effects from the medication. This explains some of his grandiose thoughts. I admit it's exhausting after 30 minutes when he goes on about money or some slight he's remembering. I just continue to pray and think positive thoughts. It's hard to do, I admit but worth it. When he is there, I love hearing stories about our childhood, about his youth and good memories. I try to focus on this.

I must be tired right now as I feel sort of like it's hard to breath. I do feel a bit like it's not fair. I feel sort of like so much was stolen and it isn't fair. I started to imagine what it would have been like had none of this happened. My worst case scenario is I was would have gotten into a bad crowd in Hollywood High and acted out or something worse. This keeps me from making "what if's" too much. lol

And yes, it does help to know other people have some similar issues and can relate. I'm certainly not the saddest story or the only one of grief. By far, I feel very fortunate to be able to tell my dad I think he's great and I love him. It's a blessing, really. And I'm grateful for this.

No comments:

Sociable

Google+ Followers