Tuesday, February 23, 2010

"Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.” Barbara De Angelis

So true...I feel like this very much since we've been blessed with family and friends. Women, especially, need time to be alone and do whatever it is we feel like doing...daydreaming, creating, writing, playing,etc. If we don't have these times, everything goes wild and falls apart. If you look at strong women from the past, they had time to be alone and ponder, if she choose to, or to simply take a nap. :)

For me, this takes a bit of organizing of time and energy. My thoughts keep going back to my best friend, Caroline's family. Her mom had 8 children and was able to keep a sense of order and control. You'd have to with a family of 10! Certainly, I would never want to attempt having 8 children (3 is by far, more than enough, thank you) but one must give credit to a mom and dad who raise wonderful children into responsible adults. I, honestly, think it is because the mom did have freedom to create and day dream. She gave her daughters and sons the skills to be independent while freeing up time. She started her own business (day care) and bartered for things they might need. Plus, she is deeply religious and did many things to work with the Church. Whenever I would visit, there was always animals about, fish, birds, a cat or dog and all in order. At the same time, she would have her TV playing Spanish soap operas and be cutting patterns out on her dining room table. I love this...as well as her welcoming nature to everyone who entered her home. I hope I can do this a little with our home too.

I know she confessed to all the things we women complain of today...time going by too quickly, some regrets but all in all, being active and allowing for times of daydreaming and making plans. I confess, I get too emotional, at times, and have let that take away some of my creative energy. That is one thing I am trying to give up for Lent...holding on to grudges. It's hard to do...and is very worthwhile to let go of. I have found myself being able to move on. There is still lots of work, but it's all good.

Having time to reflect, brought me to this realization. One of these gifts was realizing I couldn't and shouldn't hold on to things as well as people too much. For me, it was facing my fear of things going chaotic. One of these was when we had the 9/11. For all these years, a part of me has been thinking that something bad could happen, I needed to protect my loved ones and make sure all was well. Even though, I didn't physically go through this, enough of us have seen and been traumatized by the images or have had close ones caught by this. I had to let go of this fear and, though it's still there on some level, it's not suffocating me or my family. I hope this doesn't sound too dramatic, actually. I guess I'm responding to how some people feel that only home is the best. I don't think it's not the best, but I do think home can become just as limiting if we don't make changes or forget to trust our loved ones and our neighbors.

Anyway, I probably should have written this in my journal and I'm seriously tempted to make the above "disappear". It's funny how things will express themselves when you've got a moment in quiet reflection. Have a good week!

1 comment:

Jasmine said...

Sounds like good advice. i hope your surgery in May makes things better for you xJ

Sociable

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