Friday, July 04, 2008

4th of July

It's a good day for sparklers and such over here. The weather is a bit muggy and moist with the feeling a storm is coming on. I'm guessing tonight we'll see more rain.

I've been sort of down since yesterday as my doctor wasn't being the most, sensitive or understanding. Basically, he bluntly told me I have a large fibroid, which won't effect the pregnancy unless it moves. This scared me as I couldn't even begin to explain. I just felt like someone had thrown a brick at my heart. Of course, I'm scared and crying all over (thank God, I have a patient husband who let me cry). I know it's not too serious, yet it's scary that it could be. So, I'm trying to remain calm...still, it's upsetting.

The good thing is it was caught because of the pregnancy...they just wouldn't have known with my padding, I guess. The bad thing is it will grow more because of being pregnant. Strange how that works. I guess I'll see how things progress. I just feel very angry as I do feel like I was neglected because of my size. It was a few comments by the doctor that just made me blink. I also feel like I was stupid to go to this doctor as I have always felt a bit uneasy there.

I feel a bit better writing this out and getting my feelings down. The good thing is it's not cancerous and I just hope I won't have to have bed rest. This would drive me crazy.

Art wise, I did some small works and am trying out a different ink pen. I have used 005 to 03 but nothing bigger in terms of pen tips. I'm trying 08 and LOVE it! What a surprise.

Well, I've got a headache. The first I've had in 7 or so months. It's interesting how our own mortality effects us so much...ah, the conceit of it all. Still, I'm actually fine and it's better to know than not to know. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

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