Monday, September 10, 2007

time...

Tomorrow is the 6th year since a tragedy came to be full blown for the US. September 11, 2001 will live in my mind as a day when time stood still. It seemed, for me, as if those planes crashing into buildings was a huge symbol of how pretentious we can be, ignorant and pleased with ourselves and blind, so blind to so much around us.

There were very few voices that made any sense to what had happened. I listened to people getting angry and blaming. I listened to a weird mentality of "We're going to get them and make them pay" Cowboy muck. I heard pastors and normal calm people fill with rage and despair...feelings of safety dashed and fear unleashed. For my self, I didn't know what to think. I was 5 months pregnant and a feeling of, "I need to be calm or else" over took my being.

I noticed people were so edgy and frightened. Even when going to the grocery store, people would look at you twice if you put something back at the counter because they were afraid you might be doing something different. We were also planning a move to PA and as we left California, the world changed again as Afghanistan was invaded with rage and hostility. Nightmarish and unreal, people so poor and already suffering, suffered even more. I couldn't watch this or think about it.

There were conspiracy theories and who knows what...all crazy and some how the same massive failures where repeated later on, when our shores where flooded by lack of care. It seemed like Katrina was saying, "Hey Wake up! Come back home and take care of your people and lands. Stop the fighting." But we are still there...in a quagmire.

It's six years ago, tomorrow that a small group of people, raging and filled with quiet anger, shook America. But did we listen? Did we learn? Did we stop to turn off the noise of avarice and greed and listen to those who suffered? I don't think we did.

I don't know what it will take to calm rage-full hearts. What will it take to comfort people who have lost so much in war? War is a cancer to me. It's something that most people (normal people) do not want and should be taken out or treated. I feel like if the war was stopped just now, everyone would be fine with that. I know we, as Americans, would be able to put aid/funds back into our State programs and most likely other countries would step up to help Iraq reestablish itself.

I'm not much of a writer or even that great at thoughts. I'm just a person living in the US, a mom and artist...but what I think we should do, is stop this war. Start healing people, instead of trying to blow them up. I think we should just look at 9/11 and the pain we felt, is exactly what they felt. Is six years of war worth, the lives of those who died in the US? It's disgusting to write this, but isn't that what it comes down too? I'm tired of war, worry and feeling helpless.

I don't know if the people in Iraq or Afghanistan will ever forgive us. I don't know if we can forgive either. But when you have one country that is so much bigger, stronger and capable of so much more than guns/bombs...shouldn't that country start to create peace? Shouldn't it be a shame to come to blows and pain, esp. when there are children and mothers around? I feel like we have no shame and embarrassment for our actions...oddly, this is opposite of so much of religious teachings. I don't know very many other religions but from what I do know of Jesus, he avoided conflict with swords as much as possible and when he did cause chaos it was when people decided commerce was more important then the teachings of God. This is a great person and one we should be using as our examples.

Anyway, these are my thoughts and reflections on how time seems to have not healed very much. At times like this, I think of the words from the song, There is a Balm in Gilead. We need to think how we can heal those who have been wounded. We need to act upon those thoughts and be healed by it.

THERE IS A BALM IN GILEAD

There is a balm in Gilead
To make the wounded whole;
There is a balm in Gilead
To heal the sin sick soul.

Some times I feel discouraged,
And think my work’s in vain,
But then the Holy Spirit
Revives my soul again.

Refrain

If you can’t preach like Peter,
If you can’t pray like Paul,
Just tell the love of Jesus,
And say He died for all.

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