Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Hot Days...

Not too bad, really. My allergies are flaring and I'm glad it's gotten to the point where nasal spray helps so much. Amazing.

Today the gals and I cleaned rat cages and was surprised to see the youngest one (Fergie) with double eye infections. I'm sad. I think this one's not going to make it. Actually, what seems to be the problem is a massive tumor between her front paws and another by her groin. Here sister (Abby) has two tumors too. It's the strangest thing. The mother rat (Daisy) and her sister rat (Jane), don't have anything like this. I don't know why Fergie and Abby have tumors. The sad thing is people (friends and such) thought they were little fatties or something. They aren't. They just have tumors on their undersides. I think, when I took them to the vet a few months ago, the vet knew they weren't fat but tumors. I feel a little depressed about it. I thought my gals would be sad at the idea of losing Fergie, but I think it's just me. Norrie said, take her away ( she didn't like her sick looking eyes) and Lydia said, We'll get a new Fergie. Sigh...it's always the moms who feel the saddest, I guess.

On a brighter note, the eye drops I gave her seem to be easing the pain and she patiently lets me drop a few drips in. I just hate to see her suffering, I guess. I gave her some apple pie and she ate it up. So, at least she had a treat. I hate this worrying stuff. I know it's part of life and all things good or bad, come to an end. I sometimes wish I was a vet and could do more. But even then, there are limits. Ah, well...

I'm starting to get used to my contacts but now I feel like they're drying out my eyes a bit or that I have picked up the eye problems of Fergie. I hope not. Most likely the air conditioner.

I wish rats lived longer. Or at least as long as guinea pigs. I started to think of my little hamster I had when I was in my late teens. Her name was Baby Houdini. She could get out of all sorts of cages and was a lot of fun. I would let her run around a lot on the bathroom floor. Probably, this was what kept her alive for so long...she wasn't in her cage (those horrible plastic kind where the air would get humid and they'd all die of "wet butt syndrome" as my husband calls it. His hamster died of this too. I remember being so angry about this. I blamed my sister and brothers for not taking care of their hamsters (as I recall, mine died last) and spreading it to mine. Baby Houdini lived for about two and half years, so that was pretty good, considering.

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I'm also sad as there was a horrible murder/suicide in Texas of a mother and her children. I have to wonder if it has to do with having little or no resources in a conservative state. Or was it because of all the rain or madness or what? It's very discouraging to think someone was so down they felt like they had no other choice but to die and to end the lives of their own children.

I've been depressed and yet, at my lowest I've always thought, "if I need help, I'll call for help." Why would someone do this to their children, too? Jon and I were talking about this and he mentioned something interesting. How some parents project onto their children...that their children are a part of them; are their flesh and blood and the children are devoid of their own personal feelings, souls, and self. It's as though, they can't separate themselves from the child and see the child not having a life/future beyond them. This helps to explain this action a little. I guess having a combination of bad weather and major depression would cause someone to do this. I feel so sorry for the woman who found her own sister and nieces like this. Just horrible. I'm sending a prayer to her and the only survivor, the infant.

Honestly, if a person does this, I do get angry at the officials/leaders. There needs to be some accountability for this and not just, oh, they were depressed. Too many people are slipping through the cracks because of insensitivity, carelessness, selfishness and lack of resources. People shouldn't think it's shameful to need help and to ask for it. But it's worse to ask, and not get anything or not be heard because other people don't want to listen.

I guess I believe in signs or subtle body language, etc. It's not that hard to notice these things, if one is willing to look and notice what people are or aren't doing. It's scary to do this because it means being honest and thoughtful. Honestly, I have lacked this a bit...watching out for others. I have a tendency to feel nervous about reaching out because I feel like what if I hurt their feelings or what if I'm wrong? But, really, it's about being kind and getting over shyness (for me). Saying hello and really giving some time to that person even if it's to hear a few complaints or joys is not that hard, really. Is it possible to help everyone? No. Can we try to? Yes, we can.

1 comment:

Carol said...

I don't think we can help everyone, but the ones around if you are sensitive, you might be able to pick up their need for help.

I've tagged you, Emily, for a meme. I hope you will come and play.

Sociable

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