The winds have warmed up! If I close my eyes and sit in a patch of sunlight, I can pretend I'm in California...or what I remember of it, at least. Funny how times change, things change and suddenly you're a different person or have matured in some way. What a relief, really.
For a long time, I was very doubtful and even hostile in my beliefs. But talking to various people and just listening and thinking, I came to some conclusions. The strongest of these is I don't have to know everything. I don't have to have an answer for everything and it's Okay to feel/be like this. I really do think it's about maturing and getting to that next stage or at least letting go of some of those child-like behaviors that drag us down into selfishness. Not to say, I'm wholly unselfish...not in the least. Just more aware, I guess.
Anyway, this is one of those personal growth things, I suppose. It's funny how there is a lot of media and garbage, really, saying to "be young", "get rid of those wrinkles, fat, etc,etc". And there is this glorification of being young, youthful, light as air, blah, blah, blah. And you know what? This is just so full of crap. Kids, by their very nature, are purely into everything for themselves. They want everything. It's ridiculous. Why would I want to be like that? There are so many people in the world I'd rather be like Gandhi, Mother Theresa, a kind doctor like Chekov (who was also a writer), loving mothers, fathers and grandparents I've seen at parks with children, my best friend who lives out in the country, and so many more. Most of these people didn't sit around and worry about their wrinkles or fat. And if they did, I'm guessing it was very temporary...they are/were busy with life.
Being happy with who you are is a tough thing to do. But it is doable. There is a whole lot of garbage out there about being perfect in all things. It makes me angry when I see this because I am flawed and so what? I'm also pretty good at creating things, I can get quite a bit done, am imaginative and interesting and a very hard worker. I'd rather toot my horn about this then worry about growing older (as if that was bad). It's funny how we'll look at the stages of children and young people as though that is the only time humans are developing. Believe me, these stages don't stop at High school. We continue growing, making mistakes, learning and hopefully refining who we are.
Have a good week, people! Hope this week brings you some sun, warm winds and time to admire a few flowers. :)