Friday, April 27, 2007

5:30 am

Feeling a bit insomniac...I know I'll crash later on. The weather is damp, cold and really foggy. I went for a walk with my gals yesterday and didn't realize it was that cold until gusts of wind came down the street. Awful! I felt terrible taking them out in that...it was a really fast walk.

I was annoyed, as well, as I found out that game day was changed to Thursday and I missed this at the library. I wanted to go to our local library as well, but for some reason the gals like the one in Hollidaysburg (it's the puppets).

I started a new blog about 15 minutes ago but already deleted it. It was going to be about my feelings and family but I just didn't feel like exposing myself, I guess. I just felt like I'd probably be embarrassed by it tomorrow or something. So, that went...I'll just write my feelings out in my diary and save the world from having to hear me crying all over the place. :)

For some reason, I've been procrastinating calling a few people. I don't know why...these are people who I love and I want to talk to. I don't know why I feel sort of alienated and adrift.

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In other worlds, I'm going to pull out some of my "winter" work and start the varnish process. I had to wait for a few things to change...warmer days (though these last few days have been wet) and space in the garage. In a way, I'm very proud of getting the space cleared in there. I know it's silly but I did it my self and it does look pretty decent. Still needs one fine tuning but all in all good. I'm going to move those big pieces in there and put a table or two in there as well.

I think this will make me feel more productive and less stuck. Plus, when I move that out of the basement studio, there will be a lot more space for small works. I think was starting to feel Closter phobic down there.

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Tomorrow, I think I'll go over to the recyclers and drop off more cardboard as well. Interesting how having empty space is so nice and a valuable commodity suddenly. If I had excess amount of money I'd have a dance studio with a long mirror and a few green plants on the walls. There would be a sky light and sliding glass doors leading to a greenhouse. Yeah, I know...silly dreams but it makes me happy to imagine this.

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Well, my neighbors dogs are barking and puffs of smoke are issuing from their yard. Very annoying and seems to be a rite of passage for Spring. It just seems to be the same annoyance over and over again. Well, I can add another one from another neighbor. I found out they were spraying the border of grass (this connects our grass with theirs) with weed killer. WEED KILLER. This does not make sense to me. They, for some reason, don't like dandelion flowers and spray this awful smelling junk on their grass (contaminating the soil and exposing my kids/dog/their grandkids/kids they watch (this is also a "daycare"! ha!) with cancer causing poison). This is what I have for neighbors. I don't know why our blessed government still allows these things on the market...well, I do but I won't go into that.

I'd like to talk to them but I'm way too angry and will only start to stutter and shout. Jon is much more controlled then me and plans to talk to them. Maybe it was fertilizer but I doubt it. Seriously. I could smell that junk floating up the breeze to my back door...this is probably why I'm feeling depressed. I hope whatever it was that was sprayed doesn't cause lung cancer. I swear the mentality for health in these parts if practically zero...people chain smoke, use weed killer in mass, are crazy for green lawns and dump toxic crap on them, drive around on motorcycles without helmets on their heads and seem to be tainted by lead chips and drugs. I'm feeling way too negative right now...I even made a "Pet Peeve" collage...I'll scan that tomorrow. It's 6 am and I need to try to sleep...I do feel a tad better now that I've vented. Sorry you all had to hear that. :)

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