Monday...
Yeah...Monday. Happy Valentine's Day! :-) I feel guilty as I didn't get anyone a Valentines and yet seem to be getting them myself every time I turn around. I feel bad about that. It's really nice to get them and I wish I had remembered about the big day more. I just feel so anxious about my book I'm working on that it consumes most of my time. And I still need to do a cover for it. I'll try my best and hopefully that will be all right.
In other news, I've been exploring with layers on photoshop. It is really a life saver and quite exciting to use. You can manipulate your work in such a creative way and still be true to the original art. I really like it. I've also been experimenting with various functions like creating your own gallery (this is incredible!) and making things visually exciting.
My gals are doing great and are getting to be quite demanding and independent. It makes me crazy at times but I'm glad to see they are true to themselves. Sometimes I start freighting about the future but other times I feel things will be all right. It's a mixed feeling of wanting things to be secure and safe and knowing that just isn't the way life is. Is this what brings on panic attacks? I wonder. I try to stay focused and be in the moment. It's really hard to do when you're trying to make a living, raise your children, not worry about what could happen and keep your home safe and sound. It's a hard balance and then you have these moments when everything feels like it's starting to slip off a shelf. The oddest things calms me down. Like realizing someone has to feed the animals in the zoo; there has to be someone for that. Or that at this moment someone is doing a painting and someone else is doing business in a bank. These simple things make me feel better and that life is going on and even if it feels like the world might blow up and crash, that someone else is there to go on. Is this an odd thing to think? I don't know. But it makes me feel better that there are hair dressers working and professors correcting papers out there.
I feel like I'm having a Piglet moment. I don't know if you've ever seen the cartoon of Winnie the Pooh (if you have kids you'll have seen them, ahem) but there is a little pig that feels scared of the world. I think a lot of people feel this way. I know I do. Feeling scared and acting out of the fear are two separate issues. Piglet is conscious of the fear and tries to overcome his fear(s). I think this is a good example of overcoming a lot of issues we have. He tries to conquer his fear by grasping it (usually) and seeing how far he can go in comfortable bits and pieces. Isn't this a good thing for all of us to learn and do? For myself, it is meeting new people. I have a tendency to be shy, quiet and very reserved. I'm afraid most people think I'm snobby and maybe even rude. But I'm not. I can remember countless college classes where I'd be the most comfortable at the end of the last class because I wasn't scared to say my opinion or laugh anymore. It takes me a bit longer to warm up to people, I admit. And the funny thing is I think and think and think about my encounters with people and want to reach out and then feel shy and nervous about it all. I wish I was more like Pooh. Pooh, who is happy and sticky with honey and just very balanced. I feel like Pooh on occasion. I guess we are all a bit like most of these sweet silly cartoons. I think I've been watching too many of this stuff too...I sound like a bored housewife, don't I? :-)
Ah,well. I did watch Jesus Christ Superstar, one of my favorite movies. It's just such a great story and beautifully and tastefully done. My next favorite is Jesus of Montreal. This is such a great film and so thoughtfully made. If you've never seen this film, you ought to. I've probably seen it 8 or so times (not all at once but over the years). It's very compelling.
I'm supposed to be scrubbing the toilet right now. And if I have some time, start cleaning the refrigerator. I really don't want to do this. It's one of those days that starts off sluggishly. If I had to get up for work, I'd have been late. I slept in till 9 am. Terrible. I usually aim for 7am and then I can get some housework completed before the girls get up. Then when they nap, I do my artwork. Oh, well. There is tomorrow.
I'm reading several books right now. Pipi, Pooh, some Binchy and then this book called "The Book Borrower." It's very profound, actually. It has lots of quiet parts that make you want to cry and self reflection that is startlingly truthful. It's very good and I'm reading it in installments (I only read it when I'm using my stationary bike which is a bit annoying. But I get my exercise in).
Well, I'll sign off for now. Good things are happening and as a wise person once told me, keep your chin up.
In other news, I've been exploring with layers on photoshop. It is really a life saver and quite exciting to use. You can manipulate your work in such a creative way and still be true to the original art. I really like it. I've also been experimenting with various functions like creating your own gallery (this is incredible!) and making things visually exciting.
My gals are doing great and are getting to be quite demanding and independent. It makes me crazy at times but I'm glad to see they are true to themselves. Sometimes I start freighting about the future but other times I feel things will be all right. It's a mixed feeling of wanting things to be secure and safe and knowing that just isn't the way life is. Is this what brings on panic attacks? I wonder. I try to stay focused and be in the moment. It's really hard to do when you're trying to make a living, raise your children, not worry about what could happen and keep your home safe and sound. It's a hard balance and then you have these moments when everything feels like it's starting to slip off a shelf. The oddest things calms me down. Like realizing someone has to feed the animals in the zoo; there has to be someone for that. Or that at this moment someone is doing a painting and someone else is doing business in a bank. These simple things make me feel better and that life is going on and even if it feels like the world might blow up and crash, that someone else is there to go on. Is this an odd thing to think? I don't know. But it makes me feel better that there are hair dressers working and professors correcting papers out there.
I feel like I'm having a Piglet moment. I don't know if you've ever seen the cartoon of Winnie the Pooh (if you have kids you'll have seen them, ahem) but there is a little pig that feels scared of the world. I think a lot of people feel this way. I know I do. Feeling scared and acting out of the fear are two separate issues. Piglet is conscious of the fear and tries to overcome his fear(s). I think this is a good example of overcoming a lot of issues we have. He tries to conquer his fear by grasping it (usually) and seeing how far he can go in comfortable bits and pieces. Isn't this a good thing for all of us to learn and do? For myself, it is meeting new people. I have a tendency to be shy, quiet and very reserved. I'm afraid most people think I'm snobby and maybe even rude. But I'm not. I can remember countless college classes where I'd be the most comfortable at the end of the last class because I wasn't scared to say my opinion or laugh anymore. It takes me a bit longer to warm up to people, I admit. And the funny thing is I think and think and think about my encounters with people and want to reach out and then feel shy and nervous about it all. I wish I was more like Pooh. Pooh, who is happy and sticky with honey and just very balanced. I feel like Pooh on occasion. I guess we are all a bit like most of these sweet silly cartoons. I think I've been watching too many of this stuff too...I sound like a bored housewife, don't I? :-)
Ah,well. I did watch Jesus Christ Superstar, one of my favorite movies. It's just such a great story and beautifully and tastefully done. My next favorite is Jesus of Montreal. This is such a great film and so thoughtfully made. If you've never seen this film, you ought to. I've probably seen it 8 or so times (not all at once but over the years). It's very compelling.
I'm supposed to be scrubbing the toilet right now. And if I have some time, start cleaning the refrigerator. I really don't want to do this. It's one of those days that starts off sluggishly. If I had to get up for work, I'd have been late. I slept in till 9 am. Terrible. I usually aim for 7am and then I can get some housework completed before the girls get up. Then when they nap, I do my artwork. Oh, well. There is tomorrow.
I'm reading several books right now. Pipi, Pooh, some Binchy and then this book called "The Book Borrower." It's very profound, actually. It has lots of quiet parts that make you want to cry and self reflection that is startlingly truthful. It's very good and I'm reading it in installments (I only read it when I'm using my stationary bike which is a bit annoying. But I get my exercise in).
Well, I'll sign off for now. Good things are happening and as a wise person once told me, keep your chin up.
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