EDGE Gallery & Studio Blog

hair bow by my mom

2012-02-01T16:00:00.005-08:00

hair bow by my mom, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Untitled

2012-02-01T16:00:00.003-08:00

Untitled, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

jon in a hat

2012-02-01T16:00:00.001-08:00

jon in a hat, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

h in a hat

2012-02-01T15:59:00.001-08:00

h in a hat, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Talking in Their Sleep

2012-02-01T13:31:00.000-08:00

by Edith M. Thomas

"You think I am dead,"
The apple tree said,
"Because I have never a leaf to show-
Because I stoop,
And my branches droop,
And the dull gray mosses over me grow!

But I'm still alive in trunk and shoot;
The buds of next May
I fold away-
But I pity the withered grass at my root."

"You think I am dead,"
The quick grass said,
"Because I have parted with stem and blade!
But under the ground,
I am safe and sound
With the snow's thick blanket over me laid.

I'm all alive, and ready to shoot,
Should the spring of the year
Come dancing here-
But I pity the flower without branch or root."

"You think I am dead,"
A soft voice said,
"Because not a branch or root I own.
I never have died, but close I hide
In a plumy seed that the wind has sown.

Patient I wait through the long winter hours;
You will see me again-
I shall laugh at you then,
Out of the eyes of a hundred flowers.

tired

2012-02-01T07:59:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to feel tired from my restless sleep. My ears feel a bit better but I feel dizzy from the infections and tired/stressed from everything else. I guess I need to make an appointment for the doctor.

I feel like there is so much to do and everything feels sort of overwhelming. Plus, I'm annoyed I didn't get a cheap box of fabric softner when I went shopping. I was thinking of getting in bulk but until then, I have 1 sheet left. darn

Plus, I wish I got some hoagies or something for lunch. I should make soup or something. It is really, really windy and sort of matches my sad mood.

I think I'll photograph some of my artwork. I've been doing work even with all this going on. I just haven't taken any pics. or lay down for a few minutes cause my ears are starting to ring/hurt more. :(

I want to be in CA with my Mom and family. love you all.

thinking and praying

2012-02-01T02:52:00.000-08:00

My Dad had another stroke, yesterday. It was a big one. It was at the convelesant hospital. The dr in charge, who we thought we had gotten changed, didn't take him to the main hospital and said there was nothing they could do because of his pre-existing issues. I'm upset about the whole thing. I talked to my Mom and we prayed. I told her she's done as much as she can do...my Dad fights w/ everyone with medication. He does not want to do anything willingly.

His reasoning skills weren't this bad before the fall. My Mom has told me many times how his thinking has basically repeated statements he knows pushes peoples buttons. And pushes them away. The strokes have made this even worse. I'm praying all is well and calm but I don't know. My Mom is a mess and I'm starting to think I need to get out there and help. It's just difficult w/ the kids,etc.

I also have two ear infections and that is why I'm up at 6 am typing this out. What is a comfort for me and what I told my Mom is God has everything in his hands. We don't have to worry so much and be scared because there is a lot of good and kindness out there. It's just scary when it's someone you love or your self that is going through painful life changes...it makes you want to lash out at the world and rage. Or else hide away and cry. Both are normal responses...

Anyway, all I can do is pray that things get better or if not, at least know we are being taken care of by a lot of Good.

kids are still sleeping...and we're gonna be late for school!

2012-01-31T04:37:00.000-08:00

I'd better get off of here. I just basically wanted to complain about coughing right now and being sick. I guess it means I'm getting better if I'm coughing up stuff. My left ear is clicking (been clogged for 3 days now). So it must be good, right? Anyway, lots to do today. If you see me about town, say hello. Or if you're miles away, say hello to someone who looks harried and rushed. That is probably someone like me, zipping around and needs to slow down. lol Have a good day!

Saturday, finally.

2012-01-28T08:25:00.000-08:00

Got to sleep in, thank you God! The weather isn't as bad was reported to be, either. I may be able to get those dogs out for a walk. The gals are going to a party, Jon is doing some church stuff/chores and Harrison is mellow playing by him self. I feel about 75% better...still coughing and all that blah, blah, blah stuff of being sick. But doing better. :)

I'm sad that my Dad seems to have lost more of his thinking ability and on bad days acts like a child. This is a real blow for all of us...especially, my Mom. I'm hoping, when all is said and done, we can get them to move out here and I can help/we can help each other.

For some reason, I've been getting better at cleaning up after everyone. I guess that means I getting less sick and more active. :) All good things.

Why do small things seem to stress us, me out so much? I honestly think it has to do with feeling physically ill and this does make those mole hills seem like mountains. Thankfully, this is passing too. I need to realize in these down moments, I'm actually creating plans to get stuff done once I'm better.
Hope everyone is having a good Saturday. I need to go and call my Mom and see how she's doing. Have a great weekend. :)

Good Days, bad days, repeat

2012-01-27T13:58:00.000-08:00

I talked to my Mom for about 20 minutes before I had to leave and get the kids. My Dad is stable but acts like a 3 year old. It's so hard for everyone. I feel sad about everything. Apparently, the stroke did more damage to his cognitive skills and he's regressing (more than usual). Sometimes, he's all right and acts somewhat normal. Yesterday was a bad day. I'm so sorry that my Mom has to deal with all of this...let alone the nurses. He has gotten into physical fights w/ people...refusing therapy, changing, feeding, medicine, etc, etc. What do you do with this behavior?? You can't sedate him because he'll just sleep all day (which he wants to do anyway), he has no desire to move or get out of there. My Mom is considering taking him home and seeing if that makes a difference. I don't know. I know she can do a certain amount to help him and make him comfortable but his mental state is so up and down, I just hope we can get her some aides to help each day and give her a break.

I'm reminded of when my parents used to take care of some elderly people at their home. One woman, Mary Z., had Alzheimer's and was really hard to deal with. She would wander, get into trouble by talking to strangers (had her apartment robbed twice) and just was the standard person with dementia. I don't think my dad is so bad, but when he's spitting food into people's faces, you have to wonder. It's upsetting and makes me angry that the stroke has taken so much of his control (physically and behaviorally)away.

Oy! Sometimes life just throws this curves at people you love. I hope today was a better day for my Mom and that my brother's and sister help her out more.

Thank God is it Friday and we can relax a bit with no getting up early, driving in the rain, etc, etc. I'm really ready for Spring. :) I think we have to wait for another 2 more months. sigh...and I've got to start planning a trip to California to visit my parents.

it's melting, it's melting~~

2012-01-24T06:57:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness it's melting. Of course, we'll probably get more snow/ice but for now it's dripping. I like/love that sound. :)

I'm a little embarrassed. I was in the line at the market and I had one of those carts that have a car attached for kids. Well, Harrison kicked off a candy price tag thing and I bent down to pick it up. I think I accidentally bumped the person in front. I didn't realize till I saw these meanie looks from the cashier and bagging lady. I felt sort of like, geesh. I didn't mean to do this and instead of making me wonder why they were staring at me in this mean way, they should have said, you bumped her. I would have totally apoligized! When they looked at me like that I didn't put two and two together until she had already walked away. I didn't even realize anything had happened. Honestly, it felt like a accident and shouldn't have deserved a scowl. If anything, the woman should have said you bumped me or excuse me. I felt sort of like I was an ogre monster because she was so tiny and acted like I did a bump/space invasion on purpose. Geesh. It made me feel bad...if I even did anything. I still don't know.

I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Before that Harrison was crying as we went into the store and across the parking lot. Why? Because I left his snow shovel in the car. Sorry. Can't bring that into the market. He pouted the whole time. Oh, well. There has to be some limits.

Anyway, my ear/throat/sinus feels clogged again. I can't believe I'm getting another cold/ear infection. Maybe it's from stress? I'm taking vitamins every day and it's annoying to just be getting better and now this.

Oh, I just realized I probably have to do the newsletter for church. I'll work on it after lunch I think. I feel depressed. I shouldn't. It's probably cabin fever.

at times you want to cry

2012-01-23T19:31:00.000-08:00

Been talking to my mom and getting good reports about my dad. He's showing progress with his arm...can squeeze her hand, is making jokes and his spirit seems more like his old self. This is such a change since last week...I'm glad he's coming through this darkness and stabilizing. The doctors have said his clot is even gone...amazing. I just feel so overwhelmed. I can imagine a little of how my family is feeling. I hope they all know how much I love them, even if I vent on here and get annoyed sometimes.

I'm thankful for the kindness of their roommate, the doctors, nurses and aides. It's amazing how things are progressing. He can walk, a little and each day seems to bring new gifts and stretching lessons...sometimes, it's not that easy and it's rough. They are taking each day as it comes. It brings back a lot of memories when I worked as a nurse aid for senior care. Some of it is a little painful and sad...and other times, you see it as a way of bringing something positive to just one person.

In some good kid news, the gals won a basketball game. I forgot to tell my mom. They were like, yeah, we won! lol No biggie. I was like, wow! Jon was happy and my dad-in-law went to the game. I just want a good experience for the kids and they seem to be getting it.

After school today, the gals built snowmen in the yard and Harrison must have shoveled 20 feet of snow (he brings his little shovel everywhere we go, just in case). The poor kid fell asleep right in the middle of dinner. The gals didn't even protest (not too much) to go to bed on time. All in all, it's a good thing. This is probably one of the nicest winters in terms of weather and doing fun things. I feel blessed.

Last Saturday was tough as I had a migraine and Sunday felt taxing. There was some odd thing going on at church but I guess people wanted to share their feelings. It's all good. I just wish people would think of church as a relationship with others and that arguing in service is damaging to little ears. It's like parents forgetting to be parents and just acting out in front of their children, other people's children and only thinking of their own needs. It's not cool or considerate or thoughtful. I'm ashamed to say, my dad would do these things too and disrupt church services because he had to share his POV and have an argument. It made me feel very uncomfortable and ashamed.

I truly believe talking at the right place and time is what makes relationships work. I'm certainly not perfect and have had many failures. lol Believe me. However, catching ones self and changing those patterns, is part of learning from those mistakes. I truly believe seeking out help, whether by books or therapists, is a step in the right direction. I'm praying for everyone at our church.

I guess every group has situations like this. I know my family had a rough patch for many years (16 yrs of not talking to my sister, 5 or so yrs not talking to me, etc) but we've so changed in the last few months. I still can't believe it sometimes. I guess this is why I just want to cry at times...happy tears.

Certainly, there are other family members out there that we're still estranged from. My door is open to them (within reason). They decided to shut me out (literally and figuratively). I can't do anything for them but to wish them the best and carry on with my sweetly dysfunctional family.

Sigh...life is not meant to be perfect, is it? I'm okay with that...as long as there is a little chocolate, a little laughter and a lot of love.

5:05pm = Tired

2012-01-23T14:02:00.000-08:00

I should be making something for dinner but I feel tired. I made a bunch of soft pretzals. Maybe we can make scrambled eggs or something. I dont' feel like cooking...maybe take out? :) :)

Anyway, Harrison and I did some intense cleaning in the basement. Okay, I did the cleaning, he did the messing. I have moonsand down there and he loves to play with it and throw it everywhere. I've decided to clean out more of my studio and see what I've got stored in there to use it up or give it away or if it's dried up, toss. I got rid of a large garbage bag so far. I'm pleased. I have a lot of old clothing...stuff that's worn and I think I'll start making rags/stuff to quilt and the rest tossing/donating. I don't think Salvation army or the thrift store takes old clothing to use for quilts. Too bad...mostly old sweatpants for some reason. Don't ask me why.

I'm seeing progress, so that's good. There are several large items I need to get rid of (this old metal shelf that Jon got from his sister's...it's rusty! and a bunch of broken electronics). Now that I know the one recycling takes everything, I'll start gathering stuff up. I always dread adding to landfills so, it's great to recycle.

I would like to have a yard sale...supposed to be a big indoor one in February at the Jaffa. I don't know if I want to do that...I can imagine coming home with a lot more too. hahaha It's nice to clear things out.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2012-01-23T06:56:00.001-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

ready for take off

2012-01-22T18:28:00.001-08:00

ready for take off, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

he likes to imagine he is taking off in a rocket. He says the count down and then blasts off. Every other time, he says, it needs batteries. lol!

getting over the flu

2012-01-22T18:27:00.001-08:00

getting over the flu, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

we're much better now and this was at the tail end. The littlest of our clan was still sick for a bit. I think I love this photo as it shows our ever faithful, Miss Penny dog, by our side.

heart

2012-01-22T18:25:00.001-08:00

heart, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

glow sticks

2012-01-22T18:24:00.001-08:00

glow sticks, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

today is better

2012-01-22T13:39:00.000-08:00

I feel whiny and annoyed but NO HEADACHE! :) I feel like I wasted so many hours not feeling good yesterday, but what can you do w/ a headache/earache combo? Today is much, much better. :)

I hope this coming week is calm and stable for everyone. I think all this snow is being stuck inside from the cold, is making nerves short and cabin fever flair. Part of life, I guess.

Annoyingly, we didn't make it to the art reception. I knew I wasn't going to be 100% to do anything. Plus, having a kid vomit from her loft bed...not pretty or easy to clean. bleh~~

Good news: My Dad is moved to a rehabilitation center for 3 weeks. Praying he responds well to the therapies and he gets into a good spirit. He is not one to smile willingly (unless to make fun of people, etc). Now, it's part of his daily exercise...just to smile. Ironic...

Anywho, have a great rest of the weekend.

heart

2012-01-22T12:43:00.001-08:00

heart, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

glow sticks

2012-01-22T12:42:00.001-08:00

glow sticks, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

year of the dragon 2012

2012-01-22T12:41:00.001-08:00

playdoh dragon, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

mareep ville

2012-01-22T12:40:00.003-08:00

mareep ville, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

sneeze in the snow

2012-01-22T12:40:00.001-08:00

sneeze in the snow, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

me and him

2012-01-22T12:39:00.001-08:00

me and him, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

snow day

2012-01-21T17:54:00.000-08:00

We had a great snow day w/ the kids. They really had a lot of fun with each other. Yes, there are tons of pics. I wish I had felt better when their friend came over to take more pics but I've had a headache since yesterday. I think it's from the additional dust/smoke smell when Jon was trying to fix the furnace. It's also from being outside int the cold...earache. Very annoying. I need to add water to the humidifier as my nose is getting chapped/dry and bloody. not fun.

I got to take a nice nap for 2.5 hours. My eyes are sort of blurry at the moment, so it's hard to type. I feel like I got a gift to talk to my mom and earlier to my sis. So, all feels good and comfortable in this respect. It's funny how having a good conversation with people you love, really feels like a satisfying meal. I don't know why that is, but it's true.

I don't know about tomorrow. We were planning to go to an art reception in Bedford but with all this snow and feeling not 100%, I need the extra time to relax and putter. There is so much we do on Sundays, church and then family time w/ a big family meal. We shall see.

I feel happy right now. I also saw "The Last Unicorn". I love that movie and it was so nice to watch the animation as well as the story.

I just nasal flushed and hopefully, this will make sinus issues better. I just wish my ear didn't hurt so much. I know this sounds strange but when I was outside it felt like the wind left a ice piece in the back of my head and it really hurt.

The one thing I'm really glad about is I finished the kids mareep project. I made 3 of them and the kids were happy to get them, I hope. It was very difficult as I wasn't sure about the pattern/and I got the shape a little confused. But all in all, I got it done. I'll have pics up soon. I think I'll try and make some other sweet pokemon fans I know, something pokemon for them too. It's so neat how something like pokemon can reach so many different kids and age groups. I just think that is awesome.

Right now my kids are watching a Huckleberry Finn animation. It's by a Japanese company and they started off with Tom Sawyer. Now, I have to find a copy of the Emily of New Moon and Anne of Green Gables series. That would be awesome!

Every weekend is a new excitement

2012-01-20T20:05:00.000-08:00

Right now, it's getting cold in the house. No, I'm not keeping the furance off in an attempt to keep costs down. The pilot went out, apparently and now, we need a new thermocouple (had to look that one up to spell it). So, we are cold and shivery. Why is it something happens every weekend? Last weekend, the pipes froze and we were terribly sick. The previous weekends, we were stressed out from my dad/family issue. I feel like every time we get calm/stable or something good happens, something else happens to knock you down or shake the world up. I guess that's normal/life stuff.

I'm so annoyed about the pilot not working I don't even want to write about it on facebook because I feel like our life sounds melodramatic. I've gotta go put on some thick socks becaues my feet are getting cold...no, we are not Little House on the Prarie cold, thank goodness for that. I hope what the weather people say is wrong and if we do get snow, it's only 2" instead of possibly 7".

I'm also annoyed I missed my mom's phone call. I wanted to chat see how things are going w/ dad. Now, I have to do phone tag. Another annoyance.

Well, I hope all of this is resolved, our house will be safe w/ a new thermocouple and we will be warm again in a few hours. Wish us luck and stay warm/safe your self.

lightly snowing

2012-01-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

It's snowing a little heavier right now, actually. We went for a 5 minute walk but it was way too cold and I started to feel like it was biting my face. So, inside we went. The dogs were good and did their doggy duty outside in the yard.

I got a huge amount of fabric from a church friend. And of course, my sewing machine is broken...grrr. I'm going to try and match what looks best. I hoping this one stripped piece will look good with this rose brocade I have. I'm going to fix up my dining room chairs with some of the green, I think. It's all really nice stuff and I hope I can do a good job using it.

I haven't been outside in a while what with being sick and all. It was nice but reminded me that it is January after all!

Yesterday, I bathed the dogs. They mostly smelled and weren't too dirty. However, it was exhausting and felt like a workout for me. Glad I did that because they look a lot better.

I finally went to pinterest.com and it's like a big bulletin board. It's interesting but I can see how you might be stuck on there for a long time.

I'm having Norrie read the Little House series books. She always picks Pokemon type books and I thought this would be a little more mellowing. It's nice it's in the winter so, she can relate. Lydia will probably read it afterwards. She has no problem with reading something new.

If I can squeeze out some time today, I want to do some illustrating and start writing a new book. I thought up a cute story this morning w/ the kids. Nothing spectacular and I just thought it would be fun to try and put together. I have other stories I should/need to work on but sometimes it's nice to start fresh.

I should start some coffee and secure the back screen door. It's so beat up from the weather, I don't know if it's going to last till spring. This wind is getting really fierce. Okay, I read a little of the Little House in the Big Woods last night too. I love how there are stories of their grandpa. They call them, Grandpa stories. The funny thing is Grandpa has older brothers, George and James. They usually write, George, James and Grandpa...lol So funny!

Posting by email

2012-01-17T13:31:00.000-08:00

BEGIN:VCARD
VERSION:2.1
N:Gottshall;Emily & Jon
FN:Emily & Jon Gottshall
ORG:EDGE Gallery
ADR;WORK:;;;Altoona;PA;16601;USA
LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Altoona, PA 16601=0D=0AUSA
URL;WORK:http://www.edgegal.com
EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:emilyandjon@atlanticbb.net
REV:20120117T213152Z
END:VCARD

I had to try this out. :) If this works, wow. I feel so high tech...well, at least if I get one of those iphones or what have you, I can write emails to my blog. neat.

Anyway, I'm sending this off to see if it works. Now, I can copy/paste all sorts of fun stuff directly into my blogs...hopefully.

Emily

changes...

2012-01-16T06:55:00.000-08:00

I finally got most of the bugs out of updating my blog here. Phew! I wanted a pretty background but it took forever to figure out what I was doing as the computer was acting up and being slow and I'm not 100% and lost my patience a few times. lol

I also wanted a pretty banner and found this magical one at pastoraldreams. I LOVE IT! I need to add my blog name,but otherwise, it's so romantic and wonderful. Totally appeals to my fairytale self.

I'm so glad my background works, finally. I need to do something else but I forgot what it was. Oh, well! lol

puggle

2012-01-16T06:38:00.001-08:00

puggle, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Today is one of those days where I looked at the date and thought, how'd it get to be January 16th?? When you are sick and have sick family members everything is a blur. My Mom's birthday is in 2 days and I haven't even sent a card! I'll be mailing out one tomorrow, Mom! How annoying to be so forgetful.

Jon is still recovering, poor guy. I think he needs to drink a lot more water and flush his system out. That's what I do and I think it's helping. Harrison has a bad 3 days...but is much better. Thank goodness you eventually get to the point where your stomach becomes accustomed to these things and you just get stuff cleaned up fast. phew!
Norrie is still sleeping at 9:30am and didn't want to budge. Thankfully, we have today off for Martin Luther King day. We always seem to be sick around this time of the year.

I hope by tomorrow most of this will clear up and we'll be able to carry on. Our water bill is going to be huge this month!

resting and thinking

2012-01-14T20:34:00.000-08:00

I have a lot to be thankful for. Even though this week has been so tough and up and down emotionally, there is a lot to be thankful and grateful for. I'm grateful for time to be with my kids and husband. So we can heal together and get better from this flu. I'm grateful my Dad is in good hands. I'm grateful for my brothers and sister and Mom. I'm grateful for my mom and dad-in-law to help us when we're feeling yucky. And I'm grateful these flu's aren't too long...just 2-4 days, it seems...in clearing up. I hope nobody else gets this as it was pretty intense. Harrison is doing better too.

I found out on Friday that I won the local art news rack! I was so happy and excited. This was cut short by the stomach flu. But I'm still happy. :)

Jon thought our house was going to be plagued by locusts because our water pipes froze, but I was like, we've been through this before, we'll get past it. Plus, I've heard of worse stories then ours...burst pipes and fires. scary! It is so nice to have running water.

I'm feeling kind of good...had some vanilla/honey chamomile tea w/ 2 pieces of sour dough toast. I love sour dough bread. I need to buy more as I ate the last two pieces. It felt like a treat, just for me. :)

Well, good night. The last I heard my dad is stable, he's a little depressed (as in why is this happening to me?)but good. They are going to try and change this. I hope it works. Either way, I'm relieved he's in a good place.

Each day is better

2012-01-14T13:42:00.001-08:00

Even with all the fear/confusion and trying to push back the clouds of darkness, there is hope. Each day my dad has been in the hospital, he is getting better. Sometimes there are harder spots, as with dementia, there is also a lot of progress. I feel optimistic and hopeful. And very relieved that there are many people taking care of him and addressing his needs. It's a huge blessing.

My Mom is doing much better in that she can breath that he isn't on DNR (Do not resusistate, a mistake that the hospice included this) and is getting taken care of. It's been rough but so worth getting him in there/treated.

Also, we are finally getting over this horrible flu. It has been awful. Nearly as bad a feeling as the flu I had about 4 yrs ago and made me bed bound for a few days. I honestly think we are in better shape, muscle wise and that is why it didn't hit us harder. I feel like my muscles have been through a ringer, let alone the rest of me. Harrison is the last to get it. He threw up twice and lots of diarhea, poor baby. My in-laws have been dropping off pedialyte and crackers. Thank goodness or we'd be worse, I think.

Then, this morning our pipes all froze! I still can't believe this happened as I was up at 3:30am and didn't notice anything. I was thinking of doing some laundry but was too weak from the stuff earlier to do anything but eat a banana and yogurt.

But that is past us now as we have the water back, laundry is getting washed, we've all been bathed and are napping or doing chores or watching movies. Believe me, the coal bin door with the pipes to the outside is WIDE open. lol

I'm actually thinking of food, hot and sour soup sounds pretty darn good. Harrison fell asleep in my arms, poor baby. It made up for him barfing on me. :)

Even with all this yucky stuff happening, I love my family even more; isn't that funny how that works? And I feel the same for my family in California. They are doing a great job and we're working as a team. :) TEAM DIMOV! :)

Dust of Snow

2012-01-12T19:40:00.000-08:00

by Robert Frost (1923)

The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree

Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.

a bit better

2012-01-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

Things are picking up a little w/my dad. Two prayers are answered. Very glad about this. Besides being treated for everything and my mom making the decsions, things will improve much more. I know it doesn't mean a cure or what have you but he's not in such horrible pain as before and I'm so grateful for this.

I have to call my sis/brothers and mom and see what's happening. We're recovering from the flu/colds. I guess all this basketball is making us exposed to new germs, again. :( Part of life. Just means more sanitizer/hand washing to do.

I feel tired and tomorrow looks to be a busy day...kids are home from school and we're all sick. I think we'll be doing a lot of crafts and movie watching. Maybe a short walk if the weather isn't too awful.

I'm just glad I don't feel too sick. Plus, I found a stack of Gooseberry patch, "Country Friends Collection" that I'll pour over. They have/had a really cool collection of Gooseberry Patch at Sam's Club. I totally want to get them. :)

I didn't do any artwork today as I felt yucky. I just found stuff to make later, so that's good. I was very emotional today...I guess with all the stress it finally caught up with me. It was good to stare out a window and just feel sad. Sometimes, it feels good to just be down/teary and having a sympathic puggle staring at you at your ankles (cats do this nicely as well).

I just wish I had felt like doing some artwork. For some reason, it just seemed so hard to even think of holding a pencil to paper, let alone cutting stuff out of paper or painting. Strange feeling.

Well, I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow is another day. I'm hoping things will be more optimistic and I'll be able to report some good things. Praying all is well. Have a good evening and a great Friday.

I feel sick...possible flu feelings

2012-01-12T06:58:00.000-08:00

Last night or really about 2am, apparently, my second kid threw up. Jon didn't tell me and let me sleep. When I got up later, there was a horrible smell in the hallway and I thought the cats had an accident. They didn't. My poor kid was in total filth. It was difficult as she is in a loft bed and we had to get her down, in the shower, etc. Basically, we did all that and I was overwhelmed by the smell and started to feel really awful. Thank goodness for 409 lemon spray, comet and Lysol wipes!

All this emotional stuff w/my dad (I was thinking about my mom and dad when I got up) got to me and I started to freak out. I'm better now but it feels like I have the beginnings of the flu too. great. I'm hoping it just goes away and it's mostly being tired and overwhelmed. We shall see.

Jon was a trooper and helped me w/all the clean up and let me get a hold of my self. Honestly, I should be feeling better and as things are getting taken care of and everything.

My mom is finally going to be taking control of my dad and his health. The doctors have to report to her and she'll get all the info. w/out having to worry about anything being hidden from her (my dad is the classic male macho attitude. It's not healthy and believe me, it only ends up hurting people by being stoic. Don't do this).

I feel so tired right now. I wish I didn't feel so upset tummy wise as it's nice to have the kids here and baby them. Everything seems to make me upset emotionally or make me feel yucky tummy wise. Sorry for the complaints.

I feel really good that my mom is going to be in control of things and we can mesh a plan out w/ the doctors and hopefully, make my dad more comfortable and live a little longer w/out the tremendous pain he has been in lately. I feel like we haven't even attempted to try anything yet, and am grateful we can finally do this. Prayers are being answered and optimistic thoughts are working!

The status of my dad from Sunday, where he thought he was dying to yesterday is 75% better...he is talking like a person who wants to live now, too. :) Pain medication is a good thing. :) Letting people who know about medicine do their job, is a good thing. :) I'm hoping all is stable when I call again. We shall see.

My Favorite Things - Julie Andrews - Sound of Music.flv

2012-01-11T13:33:00.000-08:00

Still praying...

2012-01-11T11:14:00.000-08:00

and waiting. It's all a waiting game, it seems. Why does life seem to be just about this? Waiting, waiting, waiting? It's enough to drive you mad. I didn't go for a walk and it shows. I'm stressing out.

Plus, I'm annoyed at my brother. Instead of going to the hospital w/ my mom, he drops her off and goes home to bed. He had absolutely no concern about what's happening w/ our dad, to see if he could help my mom or even just regular curiosity. He could have parked, found out what happened and come home to bed. What the heck?? He didn't even let our mom borrow his cell phone so she could call him back. I don't get this behavior.

My other brother would have stayed the whole time and bent over backwards to help. Sometimes, I just don't get why some people are so apathetic about things. And this is the older of my two brothers that is being self absorbed.

************DEEP Breath*************

So, I'm waitig here, wondering if my mom is OK, if dad is stable, if things are progressing in a good direction, etc, etc. The only good thing is I did make chili, baked a bunch of potatoes, took a 20 min nap and did chores. I did break the outside light by trying to find out where the heck were the batteries and only found wires. Let me just say standing on a kitchen stool in 35 degrees w/ a toddler running around and two dogs is NOT fun. Also, I dropped the screw driver twice and was grateful for a curious 3 yr old who understands to hand back tools.

I didn't do any art today. Soup is an art, don't you think? I'm enjoying doing collaged type work lately. I did some abstract paintings and I like them and all but they sort of looked plain to me...and probably would look good in a high end hotel. However, I needed bigger canvas and thought what the heck. I'm changing them. My theme or series is about childhood and memories of childhood. The first one I entered at a local exhibit in Bedford. It's called Rainy Day. I took a pic and once I upload it, I'll share. It's fun and has a whimsical feel. My second one isn't finished yet but is coming along nicely. It will be called "Summer nights". I feel happier and warmer when I think about this piece. It is collaged as well.

I really love bringing objects and found materials to my work...so, this new style is really clicking with me. Plus, I also love "I Spy" books and there is a bit of this in there. I'm already thinking of a 3rd piece...it will have a Halloween feel. :)

It's annoying right now as even when I feel happy, I feel like crying. I hate feeling this emotional and set out to sea feeling. Thank goodness for soup, kid laughter, stinky dogs and cats and the potential of tomorrows.

I hope I hear something from my mom soon. Most likely, I'll have to wait until this evening. this stinks...

Dad had another stroke...

2012-01-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Thankfully, my mom got my brother to take him to the hospital. We are all waiting on hearing what happens next and what their assessment will be. I hope it's keep him stable and then see if they can do anything to relieve the blood clot. I feel better that he's in the hospital, at least, and I feel that we/they are doing all they can. So, this is an answer to part of my prayer.

I just wish I didn't feel like this is it. That's the scary part. It doesn't help that I've got a stinkin over active imagination and keep thinking I see my dad's spirit saying thank you and shaking his head at my messy house. lol

Praying all will be well and stable. Thank you for positive thoughts/prayers.

Praying

2012-01-09T17:02:00.000-08:00

That's all I can do right now. If you could send positive thoughts, prayers, good vibes to my dad, I'd appreciate it. About 3 months ago, my dad fell down and suffered trauma to the brain, broke his nose, practically burst his kidneys while trying to cross the street. I'm so upset and angry right now. I feel like crying. And I'm sad he's not in a good mental state right now. Honestly, I think the brain issues have caused him to think even more incoherently than before. But none of the doctors feel he's incompetent because he knows where he is, knows his address and can sign his name. Well, I talked to my mom today and he can't even hold a fork! What the hell? I don't know if anything can be done about the cancer but if they can relieve some of the brain issues and help him this way, it would be good. The nurse is supposed to come and check out my dad. I hope she gets him to the hospital. I think some stubbornness is a good thing (usually this is called perseverance) but when it's so obviously hurtful/painful to people, it's totally not.

It's so strange because yesterday I was telling my sis-in-law about things and kept getting emotional about my dad. I must have suspected something. I just want him to get treatment and feel better. I don't want him to die...not for some time.

I'm trying not to get depressed about all of this but it's hard not to feel down. I need to do some artwork, journal and hug my kids. I honestly feel that having kids/family/friends/church helps so much. It gives one comfort and that is a good thing.

Sweet Saturday Salutations

2012-01-07T17:54:00.000-08:00

It's been a mild day for a mild Saturday. I had all these expectations, and ended up doing not much of anything. I did do some sewing, found a basic pattern on the Internet to make some stuffies. :) It's for my kids and their friend...a late Christmas gift. Oddly, each one is going to be a little different and I'm using a pattern. I couldn't figure how to connect the legs to the body but at least they are attached. lol

I was feeling sort of up and all right...but I'm a little sad/deflated that there are some people out there that think I would do something spiteful. It just made me feel sort of like crying, really. And I don't cry often, let me just say. I guess I should think of it as people viewing me like "Amelie" but I don't. it just makes me feel sad and hurt.

Maybe it feels worse because it's January and sort of a boring time of the year. Either way, I'll just ignore it and try to not let it bug me. It does paint people in a whole different light, I have to say.

Anyway, it's 9pm. The kids are settling down for their bedtime and Jon is tucking them in. I need to do a few chores. I feel sort of annoyed too as my foot hurts (I think there might be a splinter in there). I did some short story reading tonight and feel sort of emotionally drained from all of that. Joyce Carol Oates really can punch you in the face with tension. I need to read something light and humorous, I think.

2012-01-06T18:39:00.000-08:00

Cute mouse thimble. Isn't this cute mom?

Interesting food .

Sweetest Santa elves and a movie too!

My mom and I were talking about the above things...and I'm posting to share with her and anyone else who's interested. :)

Oh and here's the Barbie poem By Sandra Cisneros I was telling you about too, Mom. :)

I'm so glad I found that poem...I couldn't remember the author and was searching. Looked through 3 anthologies when Cisneros floated into my head. So glad to remember...and find my old anthologies. Looks like I have some reading to do...excellent.

snow, slowly falling

2012-01-02T15:40:00.000-08:00

wind swirling and swirling. It makes my bones ache. It makes me want to sleep.

I did some painting just now and feel better. Why is it that snow, cold and darkness seem like something I have to fight with?

I picked up the things and put away this and that. Organized some work and all of this helped to make me feel more in control and not so scattered. Jon made dinner and this helped too.

So much seems to be up in the air. I hate that feeling...especially when it comes to people's health. Thinking of my dad...

Honestly, I really hate that the Rose parade was on Jan 2 and not on Jan 1 because it's Sunday. It's so annoying and threw me off mentally. I'm glad next year will be back to normal. I guess every 7 yrs or so, we'll have to expect this change.

Why is it that some people can sound "all Knowing" about stuff they know nothing about? It's so annoying. I just want to say, honey, just because you act all sarcastic/know it all, doesn't mean you are right. But what I usually do is feel like I smelled a fart.
(I can't believe I wrote fart...and I'm not going to edit it).

I've also learned that it takes more time to make Almond roco and not to do it when distracted or feeling like a hibernating bear. You'll just burn the almonds, believe me.

I took a nap but it made me feel even more grumpy. I had a complex and annoying dream about age and poverty. Basically, it ended well except for some windows falling out of a 3rd floor building with my art attached to it. I caught them and a person caught me...so, we were both saved.

Anyway, the kids just finished painting and I wasn't too supportive. I just felt annoyed. I did finish 2 more pieces and I'm pleased with them.

Why do I feel so damned rushed? I'm trying to slow my self down and let me embrace doing my work but I feel like I have a timer stuck to my back. Is that normal?? sorry for being a complainer and swearing.

well, gotta let the doggies out. Maybe I'll get a flashlight and go for a walk. I hate all this darkness. Also, why are people pulling down all their Christmas lights on Jan 1? What a bummer. Don't they realize that this darkness needs light? Most likely everyone is thinking of their electric bill. sigh~~ I know I am.

Maybe I should do a swap for Valentine's day...I don't know.

Rose Parade

2012-01-02T09:41:00.000-08:00

:) It's fun to have on...but everyone has sort of left the room and doing other stuff (like me on here...ahem). It's sort of a nice sort of gentle tradition to watch. I'm sure people who have worked on the floats, find this annoying. lol Sorry!

It's snowy, really windy and cold right now. But there is the sun peaking out. I just want to curl back up and take a nap.

Tomorrow, the kids go back to school, Jon goes back to work, and I have have projects to finish. I feel exhausted thinking about it. Harrison is going to be so sad without the older kids. I'll make extra time to play with him and do some activities.

I tried making Almond Roca but burnt the almonds. They really get hot on a pan fast. It still tastes good.

I need to do some chores but a nap is calling my name. I think the temp dropped more and this is why I'm feeling like a reptile.

My dad seems sort of stable but still limping along. I'm praying he'll see reason and want to feel better by going to a regular doctor. One can hope.

Otherwise, New Year's was very nice. The weather was actually rainy and not 15 degrees. Today is a different story. Hopefully, not too much snow.

I started sketching on New Year's eve...to get me into a good frame of mind to get things finished I started over 4 yrs ago and to encourage me in this direction. Plus, I have to share all the Christmas artwork I did for everyone. I still have about 5 pieces to finish.

Well, enough writing...time to nap, get my energy up and do some house stuff. :) I love New Year's...so many possibilities and new adventures. I hope everyone has a great, blessed, healthy and loving new year.

Have a Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T19:28:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T12:56:00.000-08:00

I'm ready for the New Year, are you? Well, I'm sort of ready...I've been going through stuff and cleaning out and rearranging. The basement is being attacked and purged. It's a pity we can't really have yard sales in January...oh, well. Maybe put stuff in the garage and then have a yard sale? I'm not too sure about that. I'd rather just clean it all out.

I feel good about the progress and to see how I'm becoming more fine tuned about what I want/don't want,etc. I really think there is a bit of the 1930's grandmother in me who can see the usefulness of nearly everything. However, too much stuff is an accident hazard. I've been having nightmares from various news stories about people and their homes being destroyed by carelessness. I think I already mentioned about my husband's co-workers home being damaged by fire/smoke. They didn't have a fire alarm in the basement and their downstairs oven was left on! Scary!!

So, I'm de-cluttering a bit. Not too much but enough to make space for new things and getting focused on what I want to make for future art pieces. :) It's all good.

On a different note, I feel sorry for our Christmas tree...the live one. I sort of want to see what happens if I put root hormone on the base and see if it grows roots. I doubt it but you never know. But at the same time I want to cut it into bits and make new artwork out of it. I'm weird, I know.

Anyway, I hear howling children. Snack time perhaps. Have a great New Years! I made lentil soup and it is very good. Hope you make something similar and have a good time.

haircut...feeling shy

2011-12-30T20:34:00.003-08:00

haircut...feeling shy, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Fight! Fight!

2011-12-30T20:34:00.001-08:00

Fight! Fight!, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

They were fighting over who gets to sit in the chair next to me. (rolling eyes). Penny won.

Dimov Kids :)

2011-12-30T20:31:00.001-08:00

Dimov Kids :), a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Making things...

2011-12-30T18:59:00.000-08:00

I'm still late for Christmas goodies but they are getting together, wrapped and sent out. I sent out one for my mom and dad. I pushed my self and got it finished finally, and sent out. But I forgot to take pictures of it! Darn it!! Maybe a kind brother or sister can photo it for me. I don't want to spoil it for my mom and dad, so I will have to wait. It came out cuter than I thought and I hope they enjoy it.

I'm also working on a canvas painting and that just finished drying. I will photo and share soon. It's really cute!

We had a very mild Christmas...loving songs sung by the piano, church, candles held while singing Silent Night, cookies baking, kids having tantrums, mild weather (thank you, God!), and lots of fun. Apparently, things got a little odd at my sister's for Christmas but it was a HUGE milestone that my dad and mom were there. I admit I'm jealous. Even if there was a little arguing and crazy talk...that's sort of to be expected if someone is not mentally well.

Anyway, I got to talk to everyone by phone, so that is special and I'll treasure this. I could be wrong, but I think the kids are getting a tad bored. But it's vacation time. They are so funny because they get up earlier than they would for school (except for Harry) and play video games and what not.

My dad called tonight and he was feeling better after having a lousy night. I was worried about him, yesterday. I kept thinking that he might not be feeling so good and I was right. I swear I have a link to my dad that tells me when he is feeling good or not. I feel like that with my mom too. I guess that's normal to feel this connectedness to those you love. :)

It seems like these past few months I've done so much praying and doing good thoughts. It feels like things are better and most of all, it's kept me from feeling bad. For me, it's like meditating, pushing away fear and seeing what I can do positively and helping me to act on it.

Another thing I found out is it's better to celebrate Christmas as an advent and you don't feel so CRAZY and that it all ends after the presents are open. It's nicer, slows you down and gives you much more appreciation for time and relaxing with family.

I have to change my banner for the New Year. I just can't believe it's nearly 2012. I wish I had a magic wand and could make things right for a lot of people and especially for good health.

On a different note, I found a really cute calendar (for $1!) at Micheal's with Roosters. I LOVE it. :) As some of you might know, I used to have 2 roosters (Charlie and Issac). I don't remember the breed name but they were red, with greenish tails and huge red combs. I loved them but they crowed all the time and drove my dad crazy. lol They were great at finding snails and weeding the garden them them. Geesh, just writing about them has made me feel a little happier. Isn't that funny? Anyway, the calender is awesome and is inspiring me to make some new chicken artwork. I also got 7 canvas's for $12! I was so surprised. I love it. A funny thing I noted at the craft store there were a lot of Martha Stewart glitter for some reason. I mean a lot of it. I don't know what most people would do with all that glitter but it sure seemed to be in excess...I guess for scrap booking??

Anyway, it was fun to look around while Jon chased Harrison down the aisles. lol I've been doing more then he surely has. I was going to go to the mall but it looked like a madhouse and I got a little nauseated at the way some people drive in the parking lot and didn't want to see how these people acted in the shops. So, we drove away. lol I'm becoming an old person, I guess. And I'll have to buy shoes on a different day (or by catalog).

Secretariat. movie

2011-12-29T12:54:00.000-08:00

Just saw The Secretariat. I saw it in two installments (2.5 hours a bit long) and was very pleased. It's sort of a "Babe" meets the Oscars type of movie...Really interesting, easy to enjoy and has a bit of spit of fire. There were some slow parts (the whole hippie daughter scenes, some sort of conflict of family interest but not too much as they aren't struggling financially) but otherwise, a nice film to watch and you were pretty sure that nothing too bad is going to happen.

The best part, for me, really was the idea of a woman who is labeled as a "house wife" finds her passion in keeping her farm and horses...a last effort to make good on her dad's (and her own) dream. I wanted more of this really. Some of the softer/slow parts could have shown more of this inner turmoil, I feel. This edge gets lost in the end and is more of a highlight when she talks to reporters and makes some witty remarks when egged on.

Either way, it was fun to watch and get into. And of course, it's so nice to see a gorgeous horse. This appeals to that little girl inside of me...and yes, I wanted to see more of this too. I guess I had The Black Stallion prancing in the back of my head.

Now, I want to see the next horse movie, War Horse. Sounds like a good one and might make me cry. What is it about horses that so enchant people? They seem like some magical, mythical creature at times.

I feel like doing some sketches of horses...might do so if I have some more time. I remember, as a child, falling in love with the Lipizzaner Stallions. I had never seen them in life but there was a book in my school library which I checked out so often, I probably annoyed the librarian. lol I saw a documentary about them once and they still gave me a thrill. :) Sadly, they had to cancel any tours this year (they sometimes came in through Altoona) because of the economics. I hope next year, they will go out again...I would love to see them in person.

Yes, there is something very wonderful about horses and the power and strength they express. I'm going to look for some more movies on horses. I'd love any recommendations. :)

Dancing in the New Year

2011-12-28T15:37:00.001-08:00

Well, we got the Just Dance game and I think I pulled every muscle in my body. bleh. It's SO MUCH FUN, though! I totally love it and even if I'm sore as heck, it's a lot of fun to try different moves and beat your old score at the same time. And yet, here I am complaining of a sore back and stiff arms. Oh, well...oh, and I think I slightly sprained my ankle. whoops

In other news, I'm waiting to see how everyone is doing. Dad is still not doing very well. I'm praying and hoping he feels better with his new treatment.

Our spirits are mostly up. I found out there was a little uh-oh moment at my sister's w/ family members. lol I have to just shake my head. All I can think of is people need to watch a few movies to get an idea about older people...King of California, Tate Danielle and Babette's Feast are a few good films that will give people a better perspective of age and how to relate to people in general.

Anyway, I still can't believe Christmas is over and the New Year is coming along fast. It all makes me want to take a nap for some reason. Oh, and it's gotten colder. I was hoping we'd stay in the 40 degree range. Doubtful.

I'm thinking of goals for the future...the first will be to make more time. The second de-clutter a bit and the 3rd stretch my self out of old habits (like procrastinating).

One of these days we are planning to go to California and visit family. Hopefully, thing will be mellow and calm. We shall see.

Right now, I feel sort of tired and in the mood to have a big cup of tea, cookies and watch Miss Marple on netflix. Not going to happen as everyone is currently watching Sgt. Frog. That's all right because I just had some pain pills and my back is starting to feel a bit better.

Oh, and the kids got a bunch of water applied tattoos and I tried some. Now, it looks like I'm bruised all over. :P Oh, well...

A good discovery is I found out it only costs $.40 cents to make a color copy! I'm in love and they come out so nicely too. I have an evil mastermind plan that's soon to be hatched that deals with color photo copies. That just sounds weird. hahaha I'm starting to hone in on Sgt. Frog, I think. Well, good night!

We got popcorn for Christmas

2011-12-27T09:09:00.001-08:00

We got popcorn for Christmas, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

he really likes the cheddar kind. :)

Our tree at night

2011-12-27T09:07:00.003-08:00

Our tree at night, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Before hair cut

2011-12-27T09:07:00.001-08:00

Before hair cut, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Gifts and smiles

2011-12-27T09:06:00.003-08:00

Gifts and smiles, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Joyce and Mary Ann

2011-12-27T09:06:00.001-08:00

Joyce and Mary Ann, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

at the Wilkinson's

Christmas lights

2011-12-27T09:05:00.003-08:00

Christmas lights, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

ice skaters

2011-12-27T09:05:00.001-08:00

ice skaters, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

display for the animals

2011-12-27T09:04:00.001-08:00

display for the animals, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

singing

2011-12-27T09:03:00.003-08:00

singing, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

playing the piano

2011-12-27T09:03:00.001-08:00

playing the piano, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Caroling

2011-12-27T09:02:00.003-08:00

Caroling, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

happy smiles

2011-12-27T09:02:00.001-08:00

happy smiles, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

2011-12-27T09:01:00.003-08:00

, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

stocking loot

2011-12-27T09:01:00.001-08:00

stocking loot, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Merry Christmas! (a little late)

2011-12-26T07:03:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone has had a good day or at least a little time to reflect on good things yesterday. Sending love out to you and yours.

Merry Christmas~

2011-12-24T21:09:00.000-08:00

I hope that everyone has a loving and calm Christmas filled with food, good cheer and the spirit of Christmas, Love.

My family enjoyed many of these things on Christmas Eve, a wonderful church service, a great party afterwards and then singing with the family at the piano. This was a pretty great Christmas, even with all of the sad things happening...

I'm thinking of our dear Rector and his wife. She lost her mother on Friday and had to go to family. What a terrible thing to happen and just at Christmas...

2011-12-24T13:00:00.000-08:00

“Satisfaction comes from giving up wishing I was somewhere else or doing something else.”
― Sue Bender, Plain and Simple: A Woman's Journey to the Amish

We've been Santa-fied!

2011-12-21T13:32:00.000-08:00

annoying dreams

2011-12-21T03:51:00.000-08:00

I must be having some anxiety as it's working into my dreams. Basically, I'm usually feeling like I'm not doing enough in my drem or else someone in my dream just doesn't make a connection/want to make a connection and it frustrates me. Boy, is that ever telling about my life right now. Sigh...

Well, since I'm up now and can't sleep...I guess I'll get the day started. Have a good day! I need to wrap some teacher presents and make some cookies/cook a turkey. Why a turkey? Because we have 2 frozen turkeys and I'm going to bake one of them. Yesh, I am!

there is always something to lift our hearts

2011-12-20T19:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, when I think of the sad things that are happening in my family's life, I will start to cry and feel down...like any one. But then, a part of me says, that's enough, time to do something. And I'll either scrub some dishes, sweep the floor, splash some paint on a canvas or walk the dogs and children. It's amazing how much better one feels when we are allow ourselves to move. Of course, we might yell and lash out but we'll apologize and explain it's because we are feeling bad. But don't let that state of anxiety keep hold of you.

I find that journaling helps me tremendously. I also read a lot of self help books and I have a deeper feeling that there is a constant good (God) that embraces all the changes in our lives. And by golly, I'm stubborn as hell when it comes to all of this and don't want bad things to happen to me or anyone. But the truth is, bad things do happen. They are there. Do we let them overwhelm us? Maybe for a few hours, maybe a few days/months. At some point, we have to let it go. We have to let it be and carry on.

If we don't, we're going to have the messiest house on the block, a stack of blank canvas's, a bunch of dead plants and a yard full of dog poo because we didn't walk anyone. And if we have people who depend on us, we cannot neglect them because we are emotionally upset. We have to pull ourselves up and march on. Because that is what life is. I know it's sort of a cliche, Scarlett and her whole, "As God is my witness," speech. But it's true. You have to find that rage/strength and lift your self up and get through those times when darkness seems to be washing over you. There is a better tomorrow. The clouds will not last, the sun will rise and we need to hold onto this. I hold on to this. Living in the moment and being as loving as one can be, forgiving, and knowing you are doing your best, this is what life is all about.

nonreligious pov and others...

2011-12-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

I have no problem with people who have a different belief then I do. Whether that belief if religious, nonreligious or what have you. The only issue I have is if people say my way or the highway. I do not like extremes or people being arrogant about their view and saying I'm so much smarter/better/intellectual than everyone else. It's so very sophomoric. It's like the person(s) are stuck in high school and can't get past emitting the stink of insecurity which comes from over compensation of their beliefs. How do I know this? Because I went through this too. lol And I annoyed the hell out of everyone around me.

These types are difficult to be around because they don't listen or if they do, they are constantly trying to find holes in the people around them and expose them for the "lower beings" they are. I feel sorry for these folks because they miss a lot of life, joy and are usually very hard on themselves. However, that is their choice (or mental health issue). Either way, whatever mantra they take up, it's always the extreme. It's amazing to me that whether extremely religious or down right atheist, these people all sound the same. And they just make me want to avoid them.

I'm not saying people can't have strong beliefs or shouldn't. What I'm saying is people should really ease up on themselves and have a sense of humor. If we take our selves too seriously, life can become this big ol stinkin burden instead of something amazing and incredible. Certainly, there are very dark/depressing things out there but there is a lot of wonderful things too. Focus on this, try your best to change the dark things and let good things influence your life.

I was very annoyed last week about my church experience, but it's only one person and now that I realize a few things (and have stopped playing the defensive position), I realize I very much enjoy church and a lot of the people there. I think I'd rather let this joy and love guide me, forgive the toe stepping and be a little more vocal. I feel good about this. Also, as someone once told me, people are going through who knows what, it's better to be a little understanding than a over sensitive baby (like me). lol

Anyway, I think the next time some one does something annoying, I'm going to make them laugh. It's my goal in life to see if I can make someone smile. Can I do this? It's going to be a challenge (as there are lots of sticks in the mud around me). I think I can do this...we shall see.

On a different note, I'm very grateful for spell check. I might get the structure of a sentence incorrectly written but at least with spell check I can get most of my spelling errors in check. Have a great Monday!

prayers and good thoughts

2011-12-19T06:46:00.000-08:00

My dad is in the hospital again. We're hoping that if he sees x-rays of his insides, he'll be more likely to want to try cancer treatment, get his growth removed and listen to the doctors. I really hope this works. He's incredibly stubborn as well as having the issues w/ dementia. It's really taxing on all of us, emotionally.

I also found out my brother has thyroid problems and has to have his operated on. Praying for you, David. I hope all goes well.

It seems all my sibilings have something going wrong, sore back and colds. Everyone is down and I think we're all stressing out because of worries. I guess that is normal. The very good thing is most of us have health insurance and are taking good care of our selves. I feel like there are a lot to be thankful and to count our blessings.

My ear feels like it's sore again, so even I am having issues. I really hate sinus infections.

On another note, I found out the woman at my church who is being catty might have a hearing problem and this is why she talks loudly to people and stares at people's face in an intense way (reading lips). I don't think she wears a hearing aid, which would probably help. I feel bad for getting upset. I do know I will look her in the face and make sure she knows I'm talking...I'm a very soft speaker too...except when I'm mad, than I can yell like an army sargent. lol

It was a great day until I came home and got the news that my dad is in the hospital. It seemed to drain out some of the joy of the day. The good thing is I got to talk to my mom, and I hope cheer her up and make a plan to get my dad to see the x-rays. I feel good about that. Jon feels optimistic that he's going to be all right and not die. I guess I tend to think of the most extreme scenario.

Otherwise, Harrison had a great spoiled birthday. He got a lot of loving attention, presents, too many cookies and candy canes, played in the snow, penguin toys and his favorite dinner (chicken noodle soup). He's a happy guy.

wood carving of my family

2011-12-17T16:53:00.001-08:00

wood carving of my family, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

my first snowman :)

2011-12-17T16:33:00.001-08:00

my first snowman :), a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Do not go gentle into that good night

2011-12-16T03:24:00.000-08:00

These last few weeks, this poem has summed up my feelings about my father's conversations with me.

Do not go gentle into that good night
by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

How'd it get to be Tuesday night?

2011-12-13T19:09:00.000-08:00

I feel like today has decided to do a marathon and I'm still catching up. I always seem to fizz out by about 6pm and today was no different. It's annoying because I had plans and ideas and stuff to mail...not much happened (plus, parking at the post office was crazy packed). I did take care of my almost 3 yr old, got laundry/dishes done, tended to the kids, played, went for a walk, helped my parents w/ their stuff, did homework w/ the kids, did some shopping, and everything in between. I'm tired. I could drink some coffee but I don't want to do that. I want to curl up in my bed and sleep.

I still have Christmas stuff to do for Sunday's church thing and the same day we're celebrating a special some body's day. :) I really feel sorry for people who have their birthday's on or around a holiday and in this case, esp. Christmas. Talk about potential to being swept into the background.

I need to download pics of all the events, I was supposed to send in some pics for church but I forgot (darn it) and I feel rushed and annoyed. I guess that's normal for this time of year.

Okay................time to make some time for yoga. Going to stick that on the days list for 15 min.

Bought some peppermint candies but now I wish I had gotten Christmas kisses. What was I thinking?

Sometimes, time seems to just get swallowed up in certain actions/thoughts/conversations with others or inside our own heads. I feel like this happened several times today. There was nothing too negative from it, but it did stress me out and I yelled at the kids and felt frustrated. The good thing is I did pray and relax a little on the couch with the lights glowing. It felt good.

I'm sorry for my husband's co-worker who lost 80% of his home due to a fire in his basement. They also lost one of their dogs. How sad! His wife got out fine but they can't even live in the house...smoke damage, etc. I hope he's all right. Just so painful to have to have that happen around the holidays and when the weather is cold and terrible. For some reason, this makes it so much worse. Jon's coworkers are putting a nice Christmas gift together for him. Thankfully, he has insurance.

Even if things are hard to handle, emotionally, it's good to have people to talk to and love and be reconnected with. I think I need to call my good friend in Ohio and have a chat. She's probably the last person on the planet who isn't on facebook. lol

well, I need to go to bed. I feel slightly cough-ish. Nothing too major but rest seems to be the best medicine. I do feel better. And this is probably why today was so fun/crazy/slightly unaccomplished. I did a lot of playing...and that does make me feel good too. Have a good night. And may this week and all the weeks to come be blessed with joy, happiness, peace and love. I guess that's an early Christmas blessing. :)

nasal annoyances and colds

2011-12-12T13:57:00.001-08:00

I think I'm getting better. I'll move around get things done, feel a little tired and nap for an hour. The annoying thing is every time I lay down, I have to blow my nose a ton of times. When I'm walking around, nothing or very little nose blows. But as soon as my head is tilted or to the side, all this stuff comes out. Is there a term, medically, for this? I wonder if this is why doctors have thought I don't have ear infections...some sort of hidden passage in my nose? It's so annoying, painful and makes me dizzy.

I sort of gave up on nasal flushing as I feel like it's irritating on my sinus. Yes, it helps a little but seems to draw out having a nasal infections. I don't know. I'll try it once in a while but not every day. I hope this clears up soon.

Jon took care of me today. It was nice having extra hands, being able to take a nap and rest. The funny thing is Harrison fell asleep after I woke up. He crawled into my arms and I rocked him to sleep. So sweet. His lip looks a bit scabby and I hope it's not getting infected. Poor kid. He must take after me w/ all the owies he's gotten into. The gals didn't have half as many problems.

I've talked to my mom and dad and this wiped out a lot of energy. I feel like sleeping thinking about it. My dad is in such denial about everything...keeps saying, it's God's will, etc. This makes me mad as it's not and my mom says, it's selfish of him not to take care of him self (which it is). Keep praying as do I.

I've got to get somethings done. The gals are doing a basketball game tonight. They are so sweet. They did a great job last time (found out from the coach they scored more in that one game then the team scored for the entire yr last year!).

We're relieved that the Christmas chorus finished successfully. What a great performance. I have to do a write up for my Altoona blog and I'll share it here.

hmph

2011-12-11T19:19:00.000-08:00

That's how I feel today. I've got a stinkin cold, my youngest is hurting from his fall yesterday (weird Japanese type bow, which lead to smacking his head on a metal toy and splitting his lip), annoying people at church (saying rude things about my art, and then acting all friendly/sweet later on) and just being tired.

Do you remember that movie, Monster Ball? Remember the mean person who kept saying mean stuff and then, would say, I'm just kidding. That's how this person at church is acting. She'll say something like, "you're name is Emily? You're Emily?" and I'm like, how long have I now known you? Over a freaking year?? Or I'll be looking for one of my kids coat and it will be "missing". I'll find it on the chair she was sitting on. What the heck is that about?? Honestly, she'll do these weird HS jerky things and it's getting to be really creepy/annoying.

Another example, I brought in a project for the kids to do, make christmas ornaments out of salt dough. I brought cookie cutters and she did too. Well, I didn't put some of her's back in the little tin she brought and stuck them in the bag w/her bigger ones. She yells out to everyone and says, My little ones are missing! Check your bag, Emily". Like I was stealing them or something! I was like, okay...so I checked and of course, they weren't there. Then, someone found them in her bag. She didn't say sorry for yelling or accusing me of stealing. She just shrugged and said, Oh. Then, when nobody was around she came over to me and said, that was a very nice project...I was like, what is wrong with this person? No wonder there are hardly any mom's/parents going to this church. Honestly, with today's episode (she made fun of a star I made, several times saying there as a "better" star on the wall and making it sound like what I did was a child's attempt by asking if my kids helped, which they didn't), I nearly wanted to drop church and go somewhere else. That's my honest feelings. There is no reason to belittle people to make your self feel/look better.

how terrible, the elf dance and santa hat

2011-12-10T14:37:00.001-08:00

how terrible, the elf dance and santa hat, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

In case I didn't share this already...I love that annoyed expression of his. Today, he had a truly bad experience. He fell down and cracked his upper lip/gums on a heavy tractor toy. Poor thing. It was pretty messy/painful but he is napping it off now. His sisters were so good and patient with him. Bringing him cold washclothes and ice in a bag. :)

God Knows

2011-12-10T14:19:00.000-08:00

God Knows

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”
And he replied:
“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”
So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night. And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So heart bestill:
What need our little life
Our human life to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low,
God hideth His intention.

God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision,
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature; In Him,
All time hath full provision.

Then rest: until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes,
When, as the sweeter features
Of Life’s stern face we hail,
Fair beyond all surmise
God’s thought around His creatures
Our mind shall fill.

by Minnie Louise Haskins

I heard the first part of this poem in a movie called "The Mortal Storm" starring Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan. I was totally drawn to the strength, writing and story of this movie. I highly recommend it.

sick again.

2011-12-09T09:17:00.000-08:00

Looks like I've got another cold. This time my throat hurts as well as the coughing/sneezing. Geesh! I just felt fine until yesterday. I was outside waiting for the kids to come out from school and they ended up playing for 10 minutes waiting for their friends mom. I wore a jacket but I guess I should have worn my winter coat. I felt a little tired/sore throat-ish and was thinking of waiting in the car but by then, the kids were done w/ playtime. Also, it didn't help that several kids sneezed/coughed directly in my face. :P

On the whole, my mood is upbeat and I'm doing stuff. So, I'm not too tired. This whole last few weeks have a been a bit crazy w/ the kids doing their singing concert w/Hollidaysburg chorus, basketball, games, decorating, church, and everything else inbetween. we are all tired.

Thankfully, it starts to calm down next week...sort of.

We are planning to go caroling,hopefully. And the Christmas pagnent is coming up at church. Fun times. :)

I have to make about 10-15 gifts...and still need to finish/mail out some goodies. It's all good and will happen.

I'm just happy the tree is up, we're all doing well health wise (minor colds), getting stuff accomplished and looking forward to winter break. I keep saying in my mind, we can do it, we can do it, yes we can! :)

Even if everything feels a pinch stressful, it's good stress and honestly, I feel like this has been the best year ever. I already got my best gift, my family making up and reuniting. Awesome! :) Everything is is just icing on the cake.

Some recent pics

2011-12-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

from Suzy!

basketball time!

1st game:
It was close and for only having 3 practices, they did awesome! ;)

Tiger flash light, got it from the thrift store for less than a dime, Jon got a replacement lightbulb, and it works great!

christmas ornaments:

helping out:

Our tree:

This is our tree this year. We're really happy with it as it is real. :)

Something I made for my self...I wanted to see if I could make it from a pattern from Folk Magazine:

sprained knee

2011-12-08T10:27:00.000-08:00

I think I sprained my knee yesterday. My plan was to go up and down the steps a few extra times and get some exercise this way. I was doing fine till, I also added laundry baskets. I guess this is why I sprained my knee. Oddly, I didn't feel anything till I went to the market w/ Jon. Then, I started to limp along and feel this awful pain.

Today I noticed it every time I get up, walk around, etc,etc. It feels awful and hurts. I was sitting on the floor right now, and my goodness, sitting tailor style hurts like heck!

I hope this goes away and I'll take it easy. annoyingly, I have more stuff to bring down to the basement. It's not so bad as I can't move up and down steps, it's just getting up from sitting on a couch or chair. weird.

Anyway, I'm happy I got the mantle painted. It's cherry apple red and very cheerful. :) Of course, it makes me want to paint the whole living room. I'm debating between yellow/orange color (think Mary Englebriet) or a yellow green. However, for the yellow green, I'd have to have wainscoting and that's a whole other price tag right there. I got the idea from a sweet movie, The Christmas Bunny. I'll probably go w/ the yellow/orange.

I've taken pictures of a few things and will download them soon. Seems like I'm always behind on this. I'll get better at sharing...

I think, when I list a whole bunch of goodies, I'll include free shipping. I have a lot of sweet things to sell. I made a bunch of buntings and I love how they turned out.

Speaking of making things, I started the star for the Christmas pageant at church. It's more of a square in rice paper, 2-d. I have to add a few things for support and then, I think I'll paint the star and add glitter, etc. I'm trying to do something similar to the King and I when the slaves of the King retold the story of Uncle Tom's Cabin. I loved this part w/ this snowflakes...so pretty. My star probably won't look like that but it's my own interpretation on a budget. lol

well, I guess I'll try downloading some pics. I was listening to the classical station on the way home from dropping off the kids at school...there was an obo piece that was so pretty. Oboe is fast becoming my favorite instrument.

Time sure flies...

2011-12-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

I knew I should have bought a few more of these when I had the chance:

Ah, well...Maybe I can borrow some of these? lol

Quote of the day~

2011-12-05T13:27:00.001-08:00

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

Allan K. Chambers

Feeling tired~~

2011-12-04T17:52:00.000-08:00

but happy.

We had a great day today. Church, family gathering and having quality time together. Nothing huge or major or what have you...just lovely to be with each other's company.

I love listening to my daughter practice the string bass...the first few plucks makes me think of that beginning of TCM (classic movie station theme sound) and she is getting better each time. I love watching my kids and seeing them interact even when they fight and argue and work things out. If I don't get too upset, it's very sweet. lol

I'm also glad to play a small part with the church pageant. It's actually sort of fun and reminds me of doing small part theater in community college. :)

I need to do some artwork and clean up. We did pretty good at the Holiday Craft and Bake sale. I got my self a Christmas gift. A woman was selling handmade primitive folk dolls and I had to have one. If I made enough sales, I was going to buy one. Thankfully, I did and I have a very sweet witch and kitty. :) I have to check out her website and feature at my Altoona Mirror Blog. :) <3 I love finding people who make things that just tickle my soul.

Last night, Jon and I did a project together: repairing the beat up tunnel that Harrison loves. It's really had a lot of use. Well, we worked on it and I burned my fingers using the hot glue gun like 50 times! Jon did one finally patch and burned his thumb once and was like, not wonder you were so angry & swearing! lol Isn't that true, though? You have to walk in a person's shoes to really feel how something is like. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to be burned or hurt but there is some truth about this.

I went to Michael's Art Store today. I was surprised at how much it changed. Not in a bad way, just different. I still wish they had a fabric section...I need to get some wool like white material for making some of the kids stuffed animals. I got some goodies for Santa stockings and some more paint. I'm going to try and do some stencil snowflakes on the windows. I have no idea if it will work as I'm going to use a toothbrush and paint (splatter painted on). We shall see.

Gotta download a ton of pics. I feel like I have at least 5 events on there. Lord, give me the strength to make things/finish them and not get sick/hurt in the process.

There is no reason for the Santa pictures other than I like Santa and it gets me into the holiday spirit. :)

Wish and a prayer

2011-12-03T17:27:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to say what it is...just want my family to be healthy.

My in-laws probably think I'm crazy

2011-12-03T11:07:00.000-08:00

because I signed up for a Craft & Holiday bake fair. I forgot to tell them until the day of. I know why...I was sick and just sort of puttering until today. Thank goodness for many things...such as the nice warmth of the fair area...cozy on this cold sunny day. Also, glad that there are snacks to buy and lots of people are showing up. Very cool.

Other things I'm thankful for...that the dogs came back when they snuck out of the front gate (someone left that open) and they are good dogs. I feel a bit upset that they nearly got hit by cars...but they are all right now. geesh!

Thankful that Jon is managing the craft table and selling some goodies. I was annoyed that I forgot the cards to hand out. Considering I got all the other stuff together/made/decorated and displayed, it's all right. Plus, I'm doing this w/ 3 kids as well as. I have to pat my self on the back.

The other thing I'm thankful for is I got a lot of stuff finished up for the show and I'm proud of this. Selling a few things makes it all the better. :) Plus, I contributed to a great fundraiser (Maddie's Journey on facebook). It's all good. :)

And finally, with all this chaos and stuff happening, I did make a wonderful leek soup. Carrots, 3 leeks, 2 potatoes, 3 builion cubes, a can of chicken, sauteed onions and a lot of water...40 min, later, delicious soup. Jon will be pleased when I bring him home to that. :)

Now, if I can get some energy and make brownies for everyone, I think it will be the highlight of the day.

There was a lot of clean up involved but I won't go too much into this. Let's just say it's time to scoop the yard of certain things. yuck.

On an art note, I did nearly finish a snow man...I'm ashamed to say it's take me over a year to complete. Geesh!! It's because other stuff press for time basically. Oddly, once I sat down to it, it's really fast getting it done. :)

Sleepy

2011-12-01T19:04:00.000-08:00

It's 10 pm and I feel like it's 1am. A part of me wishes it was Friday but the other part is like, let me get as much as I can get done before Friday. Saturday I'm doing a craft table at a bazaar. Hopefully, there will be good turn out. I'm finishing up some things to sell but feel this anxiety for some reason. I guess it's because I was sick before and didn't do any artwork and now feel flustered. lol I think I'll have enough to sell/show...I just had a lot of plans and now I time to just do a wee bit of things. darn.

I can't believe it's already December. I erased my calendar wipe board from November and it was packed. December is busy too...just for the kid stuff (Christmas chorus, church activities, basketball, toddler time). In the mean time, there is all sorts of other stuff in between...from Christmas decorating and goodies to regular activities art wise. I need to just take a deep breath and do think of this in terms of day to day. That way, I won't forget anything. Oh, and with all of this, I'm worried about my dad and all the stuff that I'm trying to handle from over here in PA. Thank goodness I have my brother's and sister in CA to help out. Still, it's exhausting. Of course, everything is harder when you're tired. lol

I've got to tell my self to slow down and take a deep breath. January will be a relief to slow and enjoy the start of the new year. I won't even care if it's cold. I guess I feel sort of angry at my self for getting sick because I had so many things I wanted to make/sell,etc. And now, I'm basically 2-3 weeks late, again. :(

I guess this is typical of a mommy artist...it's not that I just have my self to tend to. Yeah, I know. The typical mama complaint. I'll quit whining.

Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully, not so cold as I think this weather is making me feel sluggish too. bleh.

guinea pigs and miss blythe

2011-12-01T09:31:00.001-08:00

guinea pigs and miss blythe, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Magic flute

2011-11-27T10:49:00.000-08:00

We decided to stay home from church. My ear is just starting to feel better (no headache/pain for the first time in 5 days), Jon is coughing and Harrison is starting to feel better after severe diarrhea yesterday. Poor child. It's terrible when babies get this and along w/ a rash. So, we just stayed home, relaxed, ate leftover Thanksgiving food and let everyone feel better from the past few days.

It is good to have time to rest and putter around the house doing a little of this and that. Yesterday, I was feeling better and did a little too much, I think. By 11pm I had a sore throat again...so, I am purposely taking it easy.

Well, I was all excited about sewing some things and sat down at my machine. As soon I took 3 stitches, I broke the needle. I couldn't believe it. I took everything apart and sure enough, it was clogged w/ dust/thread residue. I cleaned that up. Set it up and started to sew...broke another needle! I was really getting upset and took it all apart again. I fiddled with it for an hour and my fingers started to feel numb and painful. Fortunately, my sis-in-law called and made me take a break. We did Christmas talking (without the little ears of the giftees). She told me to try working the machine the next day. I listened and did just that...and it worked! I did the exact opposite of what I needed to do, and wouldn't you know that was what I was supposed to do. sigh...

While I worked on the sewing machine today, I had the Magic Flute by Mozart playing. I felt inspired. My dad always says that Mozart brings out the genius in people...I'm starting to think my dad is on to something here. :) I'll see if it works while I do my art. lol

I'm just so pleased I got my sewing machine working, again. What a relief. It doesn't take a lot to make me happy~ Have a good Sunday.

Oh, and because I live in a small town, tomorrow is the first day of hunting. So, everyone gets that day off. Isn't that weird? lol I'll spend it baking w/the children and making pretzels. I'm actually happy about it because I missed so many days of activities w/ the children because of my ear/sinus infection. So thankful for having medicine available and minor health problems.

art projects...

2011-11-25T17:56:00.000-08:00

I remember doing this one project in college for a design class. We were given several words in an envelop. We had to use at least 5 of the 8 words. I remember it was challenging and quite fun making something unique with our words of choice.

Well, my new project is writing words down and putting them into a jar. I will pick 5 to 8 words and work exclusively from them and see what I come up with. It's exciting and fun as it's freeing having a place to jump off from instead of feeling like you have to think of everything right at the moment. I'm going to do mixed media pieces and see what happens.

Health-wise, I still have a headache and pain in my ear/nose. It's the ear infection and I do notice I'm hearing much more then I was before...so, I must be healing. Everyone (my dad and aunt) are telling me to try probiotec as well as the antibiotics. I guess I'll eat more yogurt.

Otherwise, I don't feel too bad. I got 2 naps, Jon got one and things are mostly good with the kids (cold-wise). I just want to have a happy weekend with nobody sniffling/sneezing, etc.

Next weekend is the boutique. I hope I can finish up a few projects to sell there and do a lot of selling. It's a little nerve wrecking because what you hear from the news is people want/need practical things and my art is for fun and whimsy. I'll figure it out by selling at different price ranges, etc.

There is SO much coming up, honestly. I feel overwhelmed by it all. I still have to get some fabric to make a few gifts for my kids and their friends. I haven't made a single gift for anyone, yet. I'm trying hard to go the make it route this year. I usually make about 75% of my gifts, every year. That's just the way I am...and I love doing it.

90% of the people I make gifts for tell me they love it and will display their gifts, etc. The only person that didn't like my gifts was, of all people, my niece. When she was 4, I made her a stuffed animal...a little princess (she loves princesses) stuffed toy. She threw it away from her and cried. The next year I just gave her a kitty notepad and pencils. Honestly, I don't know why she is like that...her parents seem all right. She just acts so spoiled. I was very surprised at how she treated her dad (yesterday). She yelled at him in a super snotty/whiny voice to get her some milk or something of this nature. I was like, oh my gosh. I would have gotten so angry at my kids if they had talked to me like that. Then, her dad said something snotty about it not being his kitchen and what can you do. He totally didn't tell her to talk nicely or anything. Geesh! At least my sis-in-law would have told her not to talk like that. I admit, I gave my niece a dirty look when she acted like a stinker.

Anyway, I don't know what to think about my niece. I'm trying to like her and be nice but there is something that rubs me the wrong way about her attitude. Maybe she needs chores or something to be responsible for like washing windows or scrubbing down the counters. Have you ever heard of the expression "Belly Button of the Universe"? She's got that syndrome. lol Hopefully, no family will read this and give me grief later.

Otherwise, everyone had a good time and were mostly sedate. The nice thing is the weather is warming up and this is a good Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T18:39:00.000-08:00

So, all week long I've been blah and sick and low energy. Finally, I got to see the doctor after trying to juggle schedules and get a time in. Apparently, I have double ear infections. For some odd reason, my tonsils seemed to be missing or or hidden...I honestly think my throat was just so swollen you couldn't see anything clearly. Anyway, I'm on antibiotics and can feel things drying up a little. Most of all, I don't feel so sore and plugged up.

I still felt low and not too excited about everything (dinner). Jon took care of the food stuff (baked yams) and we got to relax w/ some family. I felt very positive and thankful...even with health ickiness. My aunt called last night and I was like, wow. Thank you for reminding me of all the good things (even if my dad's health isn't 100%) that have happened. Miracles can happen. My dad has made peace with my brother-in-law, my sister is getting a relationship with our parents and everyone is being normal. Thank God! That is all I wanted and I feel like this is the best Thanksgiving...the best year, we've had a in a long, long time.

My dad called this morning and we had a great talk and I felt so blessed to hear him talking and being coherent and loving. It really made me feel good. Honestly, it was like a I got all these overdue Christmas presents from one conversation. :)

Then, we went to Jon's parent's and had a really, really good turkey for dinner w/ all the trimmings. I felt a little tired ( and still do) but it was so worth seeing everyone and visiting. We missed our sis-in-law as she was working but all in all, a good time.

The only sad thing is our dog Penny got a weird rash from her new dog coat. She wore it during the rainy days we had and it rubbed off a bunch of fur/made a scratch mark on her ribs. I was shocked. Thankfully, I bathed her and put witch hazel on it immediately. She seems to look more comfortable but if it's worse, we'll take her to the vet. Poor baby.

I have plans black Friday wise. well, being broke, you're kinda limited, anyway. lol It's not bad, really. I hope people do shop at my Etsy shop and get some nice gifts that are homemade. :)

However you spend your day tomorrow, have a great day. Hopefully, it will be sunny and pleasant and filled with leftover turkey! :)

Still sick, waiting for the doctors to call and so on...

2011-11-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

My throat is killing me and my ears hurt but otherwise, my spirits are actually upbeat. Things are going well with some issues I had family wise. It's good to communicate, even if there are rough spots. It's worth getting things out and organized.

It's really annoying the doctor hasn't called back...the nurse was going to recheck but nothing since 11 am. I called at 9 or so. Geesh.

Jon is feeling lousy too. Norrie threw up yesterday, Lydia has a cough, Harrison fell asleep while snacking (not normal to do since giving up naps) and I feel sluggish. However, I feel so glad about certain things that I feel like we can handle it all. It's all right and we'll get past it.

Oddly, everyone else has been calling me...my dad and mom (twice), our rector for the newsletter, and I think someone else but I forgot who. So, I'm popular. lol

I would like prayers for my dad...he's being stubborn about going to the doctors, again. So annoying. But I think he'll listen once he has an appointment and doesn't feel like he has to go to the ER.

I had 1 blow out w/my sis but it turned out to be a good thing. We got stuff aired out and I'm glad we're in a better, more understanding place. Isn't that just the way with sisters? :)

Also, I figured out how to revamp my little felt guinea pigs. I'm so excited they look really cute with their accesories and I think they will sell a lot better now. Sometimes, you have to make some mistakes and see how you can make something better...

Oddly, with having to take naps from this cold, it's made me have some new ideas, art wise. How funny to get inspirations between that area of rest/sleep and dreams. I have gotten quite a few inspirations this way. I'm sketching them out.

The biggest thing is getting the newsletter put together for Church. I see it as a challenge to get that cranked out as fast as I can. Usually, this depends on the info reaching me but once I have all of it, I like to plunk it in. Now, that I know a little more about design, it's becoming more interesting to see how the layout looks, etc.

Anywho, all in all, I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm glad we got sick before the big Turkey day. I admit I've been thinking about turkey for the last few days...We're not making one (my in-laws are doing it) but maybe I'll defrost ours anyway. It certainly would make everyone (pets included) drool. :)Have a great Thanksgiving!!!

Mr. Won't-sit-still-for-a-pic

2011-11-20T13:55:00.001-08:00

Mr. Won't-sit-still-for-a-pic, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

guinea pigs and miss blythe

2011-11-20T07:49:00.001-08:00

guinea pigs and miss blythe, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

riding the choo choo

2011-11-20T07:48:00.003-08:00

riding the choo choo, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

A nibble of celery is good if I have to do this train stuff

2011-11-20T07:48:00.001-08:00

A nibble of celery is good if I have to do this train stuff, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.