Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Storm craziness

After a long, long night of wind, ripping sounds, and pelting of the house with debris, we are up and awake. The basement flooded a bit but nothing serious...we knew this was starting to happen early on. Some branches fell down, the kids playhouse roof tore off as well as part of their tree house (just the tarp).

I feel a little like I've been on a long boat voyage...the sound of the wind was really bad and hit Jon and my bedroom window which was weird as the wind never comes that way. Felt like a monster growling and shaking the house. Honestly, I see how the story of the 3 pigs and the wolf blowing down your house most likely came from. Scary!!

I'm praying for everyone to be safe. I know there have been some bad things happening. This was a terrible storm.

The good news, we have power, we're all fine. My in-laws lost power and Jon is going up there to help with food/getting their car out, etc. It's odd because even though we are 2 blocks away, we are on a different grid, power wise, and this makes a huge difference. Our lights flickered and we thought we'd lose the power, but all is well.

I'm so thankful that I was strict about trimming trees and branches a few weeks ago. We had quite a few growing around electric lines/telephone lines. I'm like, trim them all below the lines! Jon listened and it probably saves us a lot of grief.

I feel really tense right now...I don't know why. I think it's from the stress, lack of sleep, fear of possible more bad weather and just feeling overwhelmed from everything. This has been such a bizarre year. I'm ready to put everything behind me and move on to next year and start fresh.

Some excellent news, I have a 2nd order from Michigan for my art dolls. I need to photograph them before they are sent out. They are very cute and unique. If you're interested in wholesale buying, let me know. Minimum orders of 10 pieces and you get a discount on dolls or wood carvings.  :)

I am so relieved this storm is over. I'm praying we don't have many more like this. It would be terrible and scary. Now, that I've been through this, I feel more empathy for those who live in areas with frequent tornadoes/hurricanes. I also feel that we really, really need to make Global changes to how we effect our environment. I've always felt this, actually. I remember, as a kid, reading about acid rain in different parts of the country. Now, we have crazy changes in weather patterns. Yes, Global warming is something to be very concerned and aware about. It makes me frustrated that Obama is labeled "too Green". He needs to do more "Green" energy and if the Republicans want to stay around, they better jump/run on board or they will be left in the dust.

I looked at my blog page, and I was like, why do I have any political messages on my page...let alone one I can not stand?!? I was totally shocked and disgusted. Let it be known I am a supporter of Obama and by golly, proud of it. I hope more people learn from him...instead of opposing him. Hopefully, if I get any political banners on here, this will generate some Obama ones.

I'm sorry if my views are different from yours or make you cringe. You have a right to believe in your own political views, just as I do. I have gotten a lot of grief from my relatives for posting anything in support of Obama. If they post things, I don't say anything or ask questions. For me, I get labeled a freak and they are constantly attacking/arguing with me. So, I turn to kittens and cute critters for comfort and defusing the situation. Geesh. What is wrong with having your own opinion and standing up for your self? This doesn't mean attacking people and calling them names or making fun of them behind their backs. Because, that is not standing up for your self. That is bullying and cruel. Having an opinion is knowing what you believe, reasons for it and some facts to support it.

Anyway, enough of that. I just had to talk about it because it's been on my mind for a bit. Honestly, I've written several posts only to delete them because I didn't want to offend anyone.


Sunday, October 28, 2012

Highland Park

Highland Park by Emilyannamarie
Highland Park, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

leaves

leaves by Emilyannamarie
leaves, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

stack of leaves being pressed in books.

stacl of leaves. by Emilyannamarie
stacl of leaves., a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

I love doing this! :) My mom even has books that have my pressings. :)

Untitled

Untitled by Emilyannamarie
Untitled, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

content

Cato, that's me

Cato, that's me by Emilyannamarie
Cato, that's me, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

what a handsome guy...can't believe he was so skinny and nearly was killed in at a paper recycling plant.

My dish smashing episode

I was so angry about current events happening in my life...I smashed a pile of dishes in frustration.




Just kidding! I've now learned that lotion, wet hands and dishes do not mix. :)

Storms



Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray. 
   Lord Byron  

I found this quote while trying to describe how I was feeling and how we are being hit by a large storm off the East  Coast. Sometimes, I forget entirely, that I have control over my self. I may not be able to control others (really, why would I want to do that...well, maybe if it meant a 2nd small piece of cake) but I can control my self. My big problem is I read things too fast. I make a decsion quickly and often misread or misunderstand what is being written. I have to slow down and think, okay, this is what I've read. Take a deep breath and read 2 more times and don't let my my emotions dance all over the place. Because what usually happens, is I'm emotional from the first reading...even if there wasn't a valid reason to be upset. Makes sense, right? ;) 

So, what I need to do is slow down and read between the lines. What is really being said? Taking a deep breath and asking questions helps. If I listen, I can usually understand what is being said and people can understand me as well. 
cats always make me feel calm

Being that calmness while the world storms, is how we survive the storm. Today, I had someone yell at me for not attending an event. I was honestly afraid to travel because we're having an actual storm and wanted to keep my family safe at home. Instead, they yelled at me for not coming and mocked me. I kept thinking if I were this persons friend, truly, would they have said this? I just hung up on them because they acted like a child (this person is older than I am) and was being bullying and mean. The sad thing is, if this person had been calm and reassuring (and kind), I might have been tempted to go out in foul weather...but as it was, they made the descion much easier. So, we are home, safe and warm. I guess that is what was supposed to happen. The sad thing is I know it will be me who will have to make peace (the childish behavior won't all this person to apologize...quite the opposite). 

I just wish I could take the above quote and say, see this, this is what you're supposed to be aiming for. Not yelling at someone for wanting to be safe. 


Gathering leaves before the storm takes them away.   

Anyway, it's better to be the one to say they are sorry (just make sure you've written out your feelings and worked out why). If you make peace, you're heart will feel lighter and you'll have grown a little more love inside of you. It's hard to do, but it's worth doing. Grudges are not fun and are lonely things. Plus, it's such an ugly word when you think about it. ;) Happiness looks and sounds so much better.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Gingerbread our rabbit

100_3690 by Emilyannamarie
100_3690, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

can't remember if I shared this already or not

sheep in a field of blue

100_3700 by Emilyannamarie
100_3700, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

last of the green leaves

they have all fallen~good-bye till Spring, my leaf friends. Or as Harrison calls them, Leaf-ids.

Dropped a stack of dishes

Was putting away the dishes and dropped a huge stack on my foot...smashed at least 5. :( I bumped my head on an open cupboard at the same time and had wet hands (I had put lotion on earlier...so, extra slippery). :( :( I'm so annoyed and my toe hurts where I dropped the stack.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

leaves

100_3616 by Emilyannamarie
100_3616, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

busy and bee like

A Unicorn in metal

I've found if you are trying to ignore or get through some emotional sadness (like my dad's passing), it helps to keep busy. You'll be pleasantly exhausted and sleep well. Today, I finally did some exercising...Wii dance. I remembered some of the moves, happily, and did 3 songs. It was good to move around even if I was a bit stiff.

I've been trying to be more active since everything and it's made me want to focus on my own health. I still feel really sad and it's not easy (for many reasons). My biggest sadness of all, I would say, is that my dad didn't have fun. He was so bent on his "work", he didn't relax, play with the kids (or grandkids) or just relax with my mom. That is the hardest part.

Today I heard a poem on Garrison Keillor's show...it's funny, because just the other day I was thinking the same exact thing about my father...he was visiting all the places he wanted to see, traveling, visiting all the loved ones who have passed on. This gave me great comfort:

Autumnal

Not long before she died my mother told me
that her one regret was never to have traveled
and that since she had just read about it
or somewhere that reminded her from sometime
Venice was the place she would have gone to
and might still in her haunting of the afterlife.
She had already questioned God in heaven
and the heavy Bible verses she was taught
and now saw death as her last chance to live,
her last chance to spend the green-gold leaf
pressed into books each October on her birthday.
She wept, she understood the innocence of dying.
And here she was propped up against her pillow
the way she finally would be in her coffin
with her eyeglasses held between the light
and open page. She wanted me to hear the article
that said that Venice would be filled like all
Italy that season and that Venice in particular
was vulnerable and small, weighted with the souls
of travelers, and that in the Grand Canal
rivers of dark waters moved.—Would
there be space?—It said, salotto citta,
that Venice was a city the size of drawing rooms,
lit with the flowers of funerals and weddings.
"Autumnal" by Stanley Plumly, from Old Heart: Poems. © W. W. Norton & Company, 2007. Reprinted with permission.
I did some baking, playing with my 3 yr old, messed up the kitchen (again), made a silly scarecrow for the front of the house and just enjoyed the day. Of course, there was laundry, dishes, cleaning and tending to do. Plus, some fun on facebook and looking up recipes. Here's a good one for crackers:

 Maria’s Crackers
Ingredients:
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (organic from the Rodale Institute!) (I used regular flour...)
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup warm water
1/3 cup olive oil (plus more for the pan)
Directions:

1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees (because that’s where mine automatically goes to when you turn it on).
2. Put the flour, salt, warm water, and olive oil in a bowl, and stir until all the flour is absorbed (less than a minute). It kind of feels more like dough than batter.
3. Take a baking tray (I used a heavy one with edges, rather than a light one with no edges), and slather it with more olive oil.
4. Put the dough on the tray and smooth it out to cover the whole bottom. I used a rolling pin doused with oil. And my hands, too. No need to be fussy here! In fact, the thin rustic-edged ones tasted the best, I thought.
5. Take a knife and cut the dough into squares, rectangles…whatever!
6. Sprinkle the top with a bit more salt
7. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until golden. The crackers will harden up more after they cool.
The potential variations for this recipe are endless: cheese, herbs, nuts and seeds, spices. I can see a lot of cracker experimentation in my future. And what I loved about them was that they were so easy and quick, and required no plastic packaging to bring into the house or to throw out afterwards. I stored them in a glass container, but as I said, they didn’t last long!


I just made a batch of cinnamon sugar crackers...really good! The taco flavored are excellent as well. Try it, very easy. Also, I used a pizza cutter to cut out the squares...easy peasy. Enjoy!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Pumpkins


I told Harry to put his hands down and he did this fun soldier type pose. :) The sun was in their eyes but they looked so cute by the cart. This was a really nice set up in Martinsburg at the Tomato Wagon. :)



at the blessing of the animals

100_3670 by Emilyannamarie
100_3670, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Penny represented all our critters <3

Gingerbread our bunny

100_3690 by Emilyannamarie
100_3690, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

the new rabbit hutch

the new rabbit hutch by Emilyannamarie
the new rabbit hutch, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

clouds as storm blows in

last of the green leaves

pretty Cato (Kado)

pretty Cato (Kado) by Emilyannamarie
pretty Cato (Kado), a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

stealth kitty

stealth kitty by Emilyannamarie
stealth kitty, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Simone in bandana

Simone in bandana by Emilyannamarie
Simone in bandana, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

red berret...only mildly pleased

Friday, October 12, 2012

Piles of things to organize

I've slacked off of house work for the past few weeks...nothing too serious just need to go through things and organize. Just haven't been in the mood to do much.

I was starting to feel up on Wednesday and then, I botched that up by staying up too late watching a movie. Never watch a scary movie when you're emotionally frayed. It does not help, believe me. I'm laughing at my self now. The funny thing it wasn't tremendously scary...an old 1940's film, "The Uninvited"...ghost story. I'm very sensitive these days.

I'd really like to visit my mom and attend my brother's wedding but it would be too much financially. I'll have to wait till March when we can all go together. It's very annoying living so far away and living pay check to pay check.

The good thing is  there is a lot of wonderful things happening. My brother is getting married, the kids are doing their chorus again this year and I'm finally painting again. I did this yesterday. It was so nice to start up some new work. I had carved some angels to paint and got them primed and the first layer of paint on. I also organized my new stuffed dolls. They look really cute and I'm going to have a hard time parting with them. I need to take some action shots of me working on them. I have to download some new pics too...haven't done that too. I feel sort of like, things have come to a head and now, what's next?

The biggest idea I have in my head is possibly, hopefully, moving my mom back with us when we visit in late winter/early Spring. This is on my mind and I guess I've got to seriously think about how my house is set up. I've got to unclutter and organize to make this work.

#1 figure out how we are going to install a 2nd bathroom.
#2 yard sales to declutter/donate things to make space.
#3 get the 3rd floor cleaned/ cleared out for the girls to use at their room.
#4 paint, paint, paint. :)

Hopefully, this will get someone (my mom, yeah, I know you're reading this right now) excited about coming here. :) :) We shall see how things feel/comfort wise. It will be a change but a very good one and one I'd totally love. I was hoping to move both my parents in with me but that didn't happen. I think having mom here would be a huge blessing (I already know my husband is totally for it). And honestly, I'd need the help. Esp. when I start going back to school and having a part-time job. :)

So, this is an exciting change and a chance to really make things flow in a good way. Pray that things work out and we can do this.

Monday, October 08, 2012

The Lord Bless You and Keep You (John Rutter)

feeling depressed & up and down

If anyone would have told me that having a loved one pass away would make you feel like a yo-yo, I wouldn't believe it. That is exactly how I feel. Sometimes, I feel all right and my mind forgets about all that happens. But then, I'll remember and feel sad like my heart is carrying a basket full of bricks. These are the times I pray, light a candle, write and cry. It's good to get out all these feelings.

I still can't believe my dad is gone, physically. It seems like some sort of terrible hand that blocks you from that person and you just feel so frustrated and angry. That's how I feel at times. Other times, I'm at peace with it and know he isn't suffering and that makes a huge difference. It's just not easy, either way.

A church friend passed away on Sunday as well and this felt like another sharp sword in an already sore heart. You just don't know what's going to happen in life. The odd thing is the similarity of what happened to my dad and her. My dad waited so long to deal with his illness and not even telling anyone...actually, the doctors told my mom (she was totally clueless). That is the problem letting things go, I feel, and not taking care of an issue immediately. We had another family friend do the same thing with stomach cancer...just so sad. I have so many questions about this all...like why my dad was so religious and put all his faith in God and "natural" remedies but none in doctors. I don't know if this is true for everyone, but it just seems like you need to do all of these things and not one thing.

For years my dad was so, so negative and would lash out at everyone. It was not normal, I knew this, but know I see more of what this could have been about. It's like a Hallmark movie with an unhappy ending. All I do know is, do not hold things from loved ones. Do the most you can to take the best care of your self and it will flow to everyone and everything. Be totally honest and allow your self to be have emotions and get them out in a positive way. Being in touch with your self, you'll be able to be in touch with others without any other agenda. Transparency is key.

Today, I'll do my chores, make some soup, muffins (per request of a 3 yr old) and some art, hopefully. It's cold and chilly outside but that makes me appreciate the warmth of our little home. Things do not always turn out how you expect them and that is all right. Embrace the moment for what it is, and be glad we are here. Have a good Monday~

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

this year they don't want me to make their costumes...

100_0339 by Emilyannamarie
100_0339, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

now, I see why. Although, the Pegasus unicorn wasn't one I made.

Pass the baby part 2

grandma j by Emilyannamarie
grandma j, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Pass the baby

Untitled by Emilyannamarie
Untitled, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

The Grandma's amd Harry

grandma s by Emilyannamarie
grandma s, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

This is a cute one...

  by Emilyannamarie
, a photo by Emilyannamarie on Flickr.

Boy, Harrison surely had a Buddha look. :)

Blessing of the Animals

“Blessed are you, Lord God, maker of all living creatures. You called forth fish in the sea, birds in the air and animals on the land. You inspired St. Francis to call all of them his brothers and sisters. We ask you to bless this pet. By the power of your love, enable it to live according to your plan. May we always praise you for all your beauty in creation. Blessed are you, Lord our God, in all your creatures! Amen.”

Sunday we're having a blessing of the animals after church. I love this so much. I think this is one of the many reasons I love being Episcopalian. It's just so gentle and kind to think of God's creations. Protestant groups just don't do this and I feel sorry for this loss. I, personally, love animals and tending for them. I feel they are examples of the love that God has given us and make life so much more loving. Sure, they make it a bit messier and keep us on our toes...but they teach us to remember life is short and precious. 

I remember when I saw the film, Brother Sun, Sister Moon I was so enthralled that someone would understand the beauty and delight in life. It's amazing and something to aspire to on different levels. 

Sometimes, I feel if we had more of this awareness, life would be easier for many animals and people. If we had this awareness, perhaps, we'd have less animals in need of adoption (having less gadgets and more money for caring for our critters) or only have arguments instead of physical violence and perhaps, we'd help each other regardless of where we came from, what we looked like, or thought. Just a thought.

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Let your dog bark

It is always good to have a dog who barks and keeps you on your toes. Who, when the seeds of sorrow begin to take root, churns up the dirt and digs holes and barks in the joy of the moment. Yes, a dog is good for waking you out of your stupor, forcing you into the present with her clickty clack of toenails on the kitchen floor to be let out.

Dogs are good for that nap that calls to you. To rest with a heavy head upon your back, warm and comforting and still. Perfectly curving to your body, never cooling heat pad, lovingly patched onto you with no thought of leaving till you do.

Dogs are good for inspiring side trips on your walks, seeing things differently and knowing each day is something to be acknowledged as wonderful, grand, hopeful, expectant, patient, joyful, quiet, growling bark at the darkness, protective and claiming this is my life and don't you forget it.

This dear friend, who upon meeting and loving you, will remember you forever and like Odysseus' dog, Argos, will remember you and die with his last breath for you.

Sociable

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