Wednesday, December 29, 2010

May this year be filled with blessings for all

There were several things that my family have happening and I'm hoping they start to take an upward turn. Recently, we had a family death happen on Christmas. I hope his wife is all right as I know he had recently gone through surgery. He was suffering so much. Jon attended the viewing and was able to offer condolencies.

Shortly, before Christmas my dad was in a car accident. Apparently, all that rain got the best of his little car and he smashed into a parked truck. The other car had minmal damage; dad's car not so much. I was told not to share any of this on FB as my mom didn't want to upset my brother (who is off with is girlfriend). I think that is annoying on several levels. I'm usually the last to know things, and find it annoying to not tell your own family stuff. I think he's home already and should find out by now. Honestly, dad is fine, and that is all that matters.

The 3rd thing I'm anxious about is my parents and hoping they find some place that is stable and long term for them. My mom is being proactive, at last, and this has encouraged/calmed lots of my fears. I have to touch base again and see how things are progressings. I woke up at 3 am and started wondering and hoping things are moving along.

I guess part of this anxiety was brought on by watching a really wonderful program on PBS last night. It was about a man who fed/took care of these wild parrots in San Fransico. He was homeless for 15 yrs and had finally found a place to live in for 3 yrs while charming these green parrots. Near the end of the program, he is forced out by the landlords (who want to fix up/rent the place...but snub the guy in the process and make themselves look like some annoying relatives in a Jane Austen book).

Well, the guy is homeless but some how, love blooms with the lady doing the documentary, he writes a book about the parrots and all ends very happily. Geesh, it really does sound like a modern day Jane Austen story. My husband and I watched the program, enjoyed it tremendously and just felt like it was one of the best stories we'd had heard in some time.

Obviously, the part that made me think of my parents was the whole being settled part. I'm still praying things keep flowing. The good thing is my dad is expressing interest in moving and where he'd like to move. My dad would prefer some place familiar and I know my mom would be happy too. I'll keep praying for them.

I have to say, having good information mixed with prayers can really change the world. I hope this year will continue to be filled with good, loving people and make 2010 be something we can look back on with tenderness and strength.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

ed with the dogs

ed with the dogs
Originally uploaded by Emilyannamarie

Finding balance

I chatted with my mom last night...not a big thing, except that we usually talk for a few hours and usually I end up going to bed at 1 am. Which is what happened last night! lol

Aw, well. Not to go into too much detail, but there seems to be a cloud lifting and things are starting to get in balance for my dear, crazy family. I'm very happy about that. So, I'll keep praying, keep hoping and keep encouraging communication. Phewie! :)

A few days ago, I was watching a documentary about depression/anxiety on PBS. I want to watch the whole episode again as it was very enlightening about several topics I often play a role in my loved one's lives or my own life. It was good to see that people can overcome obstacles like depression. Anyway, I learned a lot and want to find out more about this...might have to re-read "Fear of Intimacy", as well (not really about depression, but interesting for it's benefits).

Anyway, the kiddos had a great day and we had a lot of quality family time. Jon made a huge batch of chocolate cookies and I put them in the cutest gingerbread man cups. I hope they still have some at the store, as I want one for me now! I did get a Santa cup and kept that one. It was funny when I bought them as a bunch of older people kept peeking in my cart and smiling or even reaching in and picking them up! lol I guess they have a nice retro look. Again, I just hope there are some left when I go back.

Oh, and yesterday, I had the worse migraine yesterday. I'm so glad it it over! I either forgot to take my allergy meds or else should have worn a mask when spraying varnish on several projects. I've learned my lesson and will wear a mask from now on.

I just looked outside and it's starting to snow! It hasn't snowed in about 5 days...just cold. Nice to see that!

Well, hope everyone has a great day, time off and can relax a little. If not, make time, skip the TV and make something with your hands. <3

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

new toys!

new toys!
Originally uploaded by Emilyannamarie


Originally uploaded by Emilyannamarie

Ince by inch

There seems to be some light, faintly and hopefully, at the end of the tunnel. We're trying very hard to help my parents find an affordable place in CA. With all the cuts in aid for the elderly, it's not easy. And with my parents limitations, it's nearly impossible. But with Love and God, all things are possible...that is what I keep in my heart and mind when I think about everything.

I wrote to several agencies and got some good information. I sent them to my brother and mom and thankfully, they seem to have some places that might be good for them. If you of the praying variety, please keep them in your prayers and positive thoughts/hope.

It's been VERY challenging and has stressed out multiple family/extended family relationships but we seem to be getting some traction, finally. Oddly, the biggest hurdle was communicating and not communicating. In other words, trying to calm those who can't handle so much change (my dad) and give hope/resources/communication to those who do need that (mom/brothers/rest of the family). Big sigh...

With me being in PA, it is a constant feeling of regret and helplessness. That was my battle and I was very thankful to do something...even though I often had to pry the info from people and then try to calm all the emotional baggage (which is quite a bit, let me tell you).

It helped talking to my dear friend (who has known me for ages and all that has happened). She recently had a beautiful healthy baby girl (yeah!!) and I was a bit reluctant to share all this but she's a tough one. :) :) I'm so grateful for good friends and family. Really, I am.

Anyway, I'm still praying and don't want to jinx anything. The next hurdle is to get my dad, who is EXTREMELY reluctant to change, to accept change. So, we are being as calm as we can and there will be a storm, but as long as we are calm, I think it will work out.

Deep breath.

Jon says I should write a book...and perhaps, I should. It wouldn't have to be published...just written, sort of therapy, I guess. lol

Well, I believe there are lots of good people out there and my parents will not be homeless (worse case). I know things can't be as bad as they were 6 yrs ago and are just getting fine tuned.

I hope everyone has a blessed Christmas and one that is filled with love and hope. Keep my family in your prayers. <3

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Packages and gifties

I'm trying to get all my cards out and mailed. I need 3 more as I did 20 (two boxes) and found out I need 3 to finish. For me, that's a lot of, they have pics or copies or pics...I wish I had more time. Why do all my ideas/money/time seem to explode at the end of the month? It's just like me to be late with everything. Oh, well...

Mr. H had a great birthday, by the way. He is very happy with his goodies (a new fleet of cars) and enjoyed his cake and ice cream. I am tired. We had the party over at our house. It was fun with the cousins. And best of all, I didn't freak out about the house not being perfect. We started to clean the other night and I've been at it all week.

Anyway, all in all it's good to have that done with esp. with Christmas next week. I still need to go shopping and I don't really want to, honestly. I really hate it.

Tomorrow is the Christmas Pagent. Mr. H is a donkey (he loves the costume) and the gals will be angels. :) The last thing is Christmas eve service and my eldest is the acolyte.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!
Originally uploaded by Emilyannamarie

Merry Christmas everyone!

one of my contacts on flickr shared beautiful!
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
~Catherine Ponder

Lights on the snow

I think I need to gather a few candles and put them in the snow. I did that last yr and they lasted for 2 days. I love seeing the candle light against the snow at night. Gives me hope for the future and reminds me that even in the dark and cold, there is always light and warmth.

I feel a bit like I'm walking a tight rope lately. It has to do with a lot of family issues. Nothing so dramatic as about 6 yrs ago when my parents lost their home. I've come to the realization that there are some really bad people out there who will take advantage of people who are mentally ill. That is what happened to my dad. I feel badly as I wasn't there to protect's a terrible feeling. But on the other hand, we are all still here and that matters a great deal.

The problem we're having is just a simple matter of moving and finding a new apartment for my parents. I've been writing to people getting info and hopefully, things will start to feel less chaotic for my mom and dad. As you might imagine, they are very scared of change and I'm sure it brings up all the nightmares from the house loss. I just wish they would feel less anxiety and know we are all supporting them (well, at least some of my siblings and new family).

It's very annoying because I'm communicating by emails/phone calls and not there. The joys of distance can be a burden. Then there is my dad, who is ill, and this makes it worse. So, I've been praying and hoping all that I've been doing at my end, will make things easier and calmer for all.

I think sometimes, people expect too much or blame way too much. They get ideas into their heads that life is a Disney movie with a hero and a very bad villian. I don't think any one person is pure one thing or the other (there might be some exceptions for some historical figures). Real life is full of all spectrums of human nature and it is how we decide to respond or (as I've been learning) not respond to words/behaviors. So, at this point of time, I feel like I've done all I can and it's up to others to take responsibility.

Oddly, the stuff happening right now, is not that bad. It's just the baggage of previous events that float to the top and make people's judgement clouded/confused. So, I'll just keep that in mind, forgive them and know we are all trying our best.

Well, I feel better getting that off my chest! I've been writing in my journal and that helps and talking to my hubby. I've also been reading one of my favorite books, "Thank you for being such a Pain" by Mark Rosen. It really helps to read this when you feel frustrated. I also recommend a great book (for less emotional times of the year), "Fear of Intimacy". This has a lot of strategies for getting over a lot of the baggage we all carry around with us. Might have to gift some of these in the future.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

all wrapped up!

all wrapped up!
Originally uploaded by Emilyannamarie

Gingerbread boy with candy cane

Avaible on my eBay site! :)


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Snowy snow

And chilly chill. It is cold here, folks. Thankfully, all things are running smoothly (heater, heat blanket, furnace, etc). Everyone has gloves and everyone has their warm gear. The kids have learned to wear leggings under their sweatpants...I guess I need to stock up on thermal clothing.

All in all, this weather isn't so bad when you aren't sick. Just annoying. The biggest annoyance is the lack of walking we've been doing. The dogs are stir crazy and I'm stir crazy. I tried to walk the dogs and kiddo yesterday...and couldn't make it past the alley. It was too cold and I was terrified of the ice. I should have had my yak treks on but I thought snow boots would be enough. Nothing happened, thankfully, but I was very glad to get inside. The kiddo and dogs, not so much. But gosh darn it, it was cold!

I may start going to the Y. I just need to get moving again as I feel so blah when I don't walk. I just hate wasting gas to get some place to exercise but considering the blast of 19 degree weather, perhaps it's time to bit the bullet.

My husband just walked in and said, tell everyone I'm baking cookies (I'm rolling my eyes). I'm pleased, yes. I did make corn bread and chili, so it's not like he's the only one baking anything. He was very kind (and brave)to go to the market and get supplies, however. :) :)

I wish I had more energy to do stuff but I feel like sleeping. I did a bunch of chores...mopping, child tending, pet chores, house chores, and basically that was my day. I did repair the chair that my sis-in-law gave us (had a bunch of cat scratch rips on the side) but I had to rip off half of it, as I glued the chair shut. It's one of those lazy boy models. I fixed that just now. Sometimes...

We're having a party for a 2 yr old kiddo...nothing too fancy, just at home. But I hope everyone will come as last year nobody did because of 2-3 ft of snow. We actually stuck Mr. H in a sled, and walked up to my in-laws just to get out and have cake! lol That was fun.

I can't wait till those cookies are done. They smell really good.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something. I'll try writing more tomorrow. Have a good night! Yummmmy...cookies!

All things deer

All things deer
Originally uploaded by Emilyannamarie

Friday, December 03, 2010

Gingerbread Cookies.

That is on my mind as I have to make 20 dozen or 240 c00kiES. Those are my eyeballs looking vacant in the word c00kiEs. I have the first batch cooling in the frig before we need to pull them up. Jon was supposed to get all my ingredients when he went to Sam's but told me they do not sell molasses or ginger or cinnamon. Why do I think he didn't bother looking or else just forgot? He also missed bringing home coffee (which is in the same isle as the, I know what happened). Anywho, I have to wait till he gets home, again, because I promised not to take our sickly but somehow very energetic child, to the market in the cold. Sigh.

At least I'll have 72 ready to be rolled/baked and iced while the other batch hardens in the frig (once all the ingredients are here, that is). I HATE waiting. I HATE doing things at the last minute. Okay...I got that out but I still feel annoyed. My goal was to have a huge cookie decorating process w/the kids (I'd bake yesterday/today, or mostly today) and they'd do the fun stuff.

Yesterday, I was so beat after running around to the doctors. Little Mister was sick and we had to get him some antibiotics. Poor kiddo. He looked and felt miserable...actually, he was sort of just tired but very curious (when at the doctors, that is). He even surprised the dr with his intense gaze. Little Mister stared at his beard and I think maybe thought he was Santa?? lol

Jon did get me batteries for my camera, so I am pleased. I have bunches of ideas for things to make but the time, time, time is slipping away. It'll all work out.

I did "waste" some time by finishing up my book, "Three Bags Full" by Leonie Swann. Excellent, by the way. Sad and a bit bittersweet at the end, it kept me guessing and often seeing things through a fleece covered world. I kept thinking as I read the book, how, if I really tried, I could have 2 sheep in our yard as pets. I'd have to fence in the side yard and have a little barn house for them and have hay, etc. Funny thoughts like these kept dancing in my mind. I'll research this but it is nice to dream about it, even if it's just a dream. lol

I really, really want to do some art but I want to create stuff for about 4 hrs straight and have no interuptions. As I have to pick up the kids in an hour and have a crying Little Mister, I don't think this is going to happen. Where's my sketch book so I can at least do that...gotta go.


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